Friendship is not a test

Dear friend,

Friendship is not a test,

rather it is a foundation,

Clarity is the best,

and offers forever portion.

Go in and out from a car,

who doesn’t guarantee of future,

only ache precaution of the heart,

Dear Friend,

Today, my heart is confused,

to you who is not obvious,

I hope it comes to at peace.

“God remove this at once”, I prayed,

So I could feel pain no more,

let the world not know,

So I could move on.

Let them try to pull me low,

But I won’t let them prosper.

Throw me all the 0% chances,

still,

friendship is not an experiment.

But a substance to a blooming romance,

ordained story to be unfold someday.

May this disheveled heart be groomed in no time,

Because I would love to love someone who is worth my love.

Even when it hurts

We get to a road of life where there are stumbling blocks and hindrances. Sometimes we overanalyze the situation presented to us. Sometimes we robotically accept and deny certain things which makes us feel either good or bad.

I’ve gone through tough times. Who doesn’t? Life can be unfair and overwhelmingly good. But at the top of it, we do not control certatin circumstances. We are after the outcome of our decisions and choices but maybe – sometimes the sun and moon doesn’t agree with our final says.

I am currently hurting and trying to look at things in a positive way. Just like fresh from breakup is what I’m feeling today. It has been a year since I broke up with my former boyfriend but I guess there are some issues still need to deal with.

Two weeks ago, as I grew tired of patiently waiting to reconcile the so called friendship, I decided to STOP and LET GOD. Yesterday was worst. I saw this coming even when it hurts I have to live my life as normal as I can. It has never been easy. I learned that between the two lovers, whoever had come up with the decision of “break up” it will always be a different pace on the other party involve.

I was already in the stage of moving on till yesterday happened. I guess people will always find it difficult to see since I have imprinted of who I am to them. But no matter what, I have finally making the decision of letting go, for his happiness sake and to let him know that I respect him. I hope one day, he’ll see that too.

Even when it hurts, I will still continue this life because I know there is a purpose. Even when it hurts I tried my best to pray and claim God’s promises and my identity to Him. Even when it hurts I will continue to seek God’s will over my life and not on the peoples opinions.

Despite of what is happening today, I know that God will redeem us in better situation. I know that He is still in control.

I declare peace, love, joy and forgiveness be upon the people involve in my situation. In Jesus’ name, Amen

His love letter

February 18, 2014
Usually, baking, laundry, cooking, cleaning are my agendas for rest days. But this day is different. I spent time surfing the net, see newsfeeds at Facebook, watch a movie, and think. When I had finished them all, I stopped for a moment. I rested in our living room sofa in an inconvenient position, I began thinking, played a gospel music, closed my eyes, embraced the precious living Book, and started crying…. SomeOne Whose close in my heart become a ‘choice’. Someone who assured me many times that He loves me has become a stranger. From that moment I was reminded of the box office movie, STARTING OVER AGAIN, with a new beginning…. Tears started flowing through my cheeks, here I am commits myself to start over again with the One who loved me first, and here’s His letter to me….

My dearest daughter,
I know It seems I was silent for the past weeks, but I never stopped pursuing you . You may not have recognize the love and faith I have for you but there are just too many things going on your mind, I can’t squeeze in myself. You have tried to put me first but you intended to do what you LIKE. But don’t worry my daughter, my princess, no matter how stubborn you are, I still LOVE you, I really do, not in a different way, but with the SAME love I have showed you 2000 years ago. My darling, do not be condemn by what the world says to you, do not be discourage by their judgements thrown at you, always remember that I have overcome the world. Regarding with your plans, sweetheart, be patient, WAIT patiently my love. Everything is already planned, orchestrated and designed the way I wanted. Your ways are not my ways, your thoughts are not my thoughts . I am proud that you have plans for yourself, for your future, career, which you have presented everything to me… I am honored that you have acknowledged every detail of your desires before me. I really AM my princess, but just do not fret, I have arrange accordingly each into my timeframe. Just be in faith, in every area of your life, have faith in Me. TRUST Me. Here we go my Darling, just always remember, I will always walk with you each day of your life, I love you unconditionally! And I am always 24/7 available, just hoping you have time for Me.

Lovingly yours,
Your Heavenly Father