I in the mirror

Hesitantly, I look at myself in the mirror. I look at that person and deep inside she’s broken and still in a healing process. I look at her with shamefully disgusted personality. I see this lady full of mysteries and secrets. However, she believes that no secrets cannot be revealed. She has support system, few but real, who will remind her identity and encourage her that we live because there is a purpose.

Indeed there is a purpose. Whenever I look back to the past, I always find myself to the lost woods or stare the endless ceiling. I somehow realize that PAST has contributed a lot of who I am today and there comes a time when I just cannot let go of it. But, yes a big BUT… We have to move on… I love new things and I am excited to explore and discover to conquer and learn about something in this new season.

Going back, how I see myself today? I am really disgusted. A lot of times when we fight for what is right or stand firm with convictions which ends up to failure. I just discovered my weakness recently hence the readon why I still fall on the same trap all over again. And it just makes me sad that whenever I am “almost” in that situation, there’s this urge of “test/challenge” but naaaaah… I say, know your weakness and never attempt to check if you have overcome it. Run away immediately from temptation. Do you get what I mean? 

We are human with limited strength and capacity. Since we are human let us not abuse that limited strength to conquer our fears or “test”. No matter what that can be, never ever stay in a place where we can be vulnerable to make mistakes.

Honestly, I do not know how to redeem myself back but God’s grace is sufficient for my weaknesses. Sometimes my thoughts tell me: “you do not deserve His grace” “you are unworthy” “you kept on saying sorry but you keep doing same old sins” and sometimes “you are not beautiful!” There’s a truth to those thoughts and that make God more visible in my life. 

I look at myself and I see a woman who doesn’t deserve all the love and precious breath in this world but someOne gave it anyway. I cannot see the fast healing but I am willing for a change and enter new season in life.

Even when it hurts

We get to a road of life where there are stumbling blocks and hindrances. Sometimes we overanalyze the situation presented to us. Sometimes we robotically accept and deny certain things which makes us feel either good or bad.

I’ve gone through tough times. Who doesn’t? Life can be unfair and overwhelmingly good. But at the top of it, we do not control certatin circumstances. We are after the outcome of our decisions and choices but maybe – sometimes the sun and moon doesn’t agree with our final says.

I am currently hurting and trying to look at things in a positive way. Just like fresh from breakup is what I’m feeling today. It has been a year since I broke up with my former boyfriend but I guess there are some issues still need to deal with.

Two weeks ago, as I grew tired of patiently waiting to reconcile the so called friendship, I decided to STOP and LET GOD. Yesterday was worst. I saw this coming even when it hurts I have to live my life as normal as I can. It has never been easy. I learned that between the two lovers, whoever had come up with the decision of “break up” it will always be a different pace on the other party involve.

I was already in the stage of moving on till yesterday happened. I guess people will always find it difficult to see since I have imprinted of who I am to them. But no matter what, I have finally making the decision of letting go, for his happiness sake and to let him know that I respect him. I hope one day, he’ll see that too.

Even when it hurts, I will still continue this life because I know there is a purpose. Even when it hurts I tried my best to pray and claim God’s promises and my identity to Him. Even when it hurts I will continue to seek God’s will over my life and not on the peoples opinions.

Despite of what is happening today, I know that God will redeem us in better situation. I know that He is still in control.

I declare peace, love, joy and forgiveness be upon the people involve in my situation. In Jesus’ name, Amen

Food hunter

For the past few weeks, my friends noticed I always have new posts on FB and it made me realized at I’m a food hunter. What I can’t resist keeps on coming my way. Instead of choosing diet I end up eating a lot with no limits (well, case to case basis). Yet, as much as I wanted to eat my favorites and give my taste buds an experience of my food choice, I need to be on a “budget” wise gear.

I have friends with different personalities from different places. when I’m with them, I need to be sure that I have money on me because some of them would prefer to choose clean street foods and some would prefer Asian prestigious restaurants.

Actually, I learned to spend money for food from my father. I was a quick buyer of clothes back then but I learned that it will not help my stomach satisfy and it can wait. So from then on, I started buying sweets, rich in carbs and tons of calories a day whenever I’m off to grocery. but it also took me to be wise on eating foods especially discarding junk foods and loving green foods instead.

So here are some of my own desserts made by me….

this is my own “S” – spaghetti macaroni for my lunch. Whenever I don’t feel rice, I would replace it to pasta instead.

then right after my pasta, I tried to make strawberry-corn jelly. My first time on making a gelatin…. Well it still tasted gelatin though..

The new chocolate launched in Philippines. Wrapped like the chocolate Galaxy from Jeddah, KSA. I love Milk Chocolate. I bought this before I begin my duty … perfect for breakfast and to ER Nurse…

The other day when my sister went back home from Manila, we had the chance to catch up and bond together. I love Mcdonald and their McCafé is just an affordable delicious delights. I love their Frappucinos…. 🙂

Like I’ve said earlier, I would replace rice to pasta 🙂 So I made my own Shrimp Pasta. Well, unfortunately, the planned menu failed. Coz its supposedly Misûa Shrimp…. But well, my brothers liked it!

So I hope you like my favorites and please do follow my blog … it wont hurt anyone! Thank you!

The Lord of the Rings Trilogy

The Lord of the Rings Trilogy

I have watched this movie back in my high school days. Actually I really didn’t understand the story. I wasn’t a fan of it. My friends and family brought my mind to curiosity at that time. What’s with the ring? That each of the character are falling from its circular gold form. Last Sunday, our pastor mentioned the Lord of the Rings, it encouraged me to watch it all over again. It turned out unexpectedly pretty exciting. I realized that the story has a deep meaning. Its not only about the thin look alike monster “My precious”  was all about or not only about the ring, it was a mix good lessons and real life stories resemblance. I just want to share with you my favorite characters in the movie that moved me into tears and affected me in some ways.

First of all,

Gandalf the Grey

This Wizard who was an old friend of Bilbo Baggins, who was also a co-founder of the precious Ring of power, is a righteous character that all he thinks about is for the betterment of the many, which is good. He looked after the four hobbits, fought for them, guided and led them throughout the journey. He was like a huge guardian to them.

Aragorn

The last heir of Gordon, who was in love with a beautiful immortal Elf, Arwen, who chose to be mortal to be with him. Nevertheless, Aragorn did not stop him to go to the quest for the sake of the destruction of the Ring of Power but it also did not stop him to love Arwen even in the distance shores.

 

 

 

 

 

Sam

Among the four hobbits in the movie, I find Sam really courageous and brave. Without him Mr. Frodo would not make it to the Fire of Mordon. Sam helped Mr. Frodo to continue the journey despite of their physical weakness, (lack of food and water) he motivated Mr. Frodo to finish the restless journey. Without Sam, Mr. Frodo could’ve been dead that time. But because he remained faithful to his promise, Sam was able to accomplish the mission with Mr. Frodo.

 

 

 

Eowyn

This mighty woman warrior, she reminds me of a Woman in the Bible – Rahab, she also fought for her loved ones. During the time of Eowyn, women are not allowed to fight, they have their duty at home, but for her her duty is not only bound at home, it bounds even outside the kingdom. Behind her beauty and elegance gestures lies a warrior with full of courage and bravery. She even saved the king of Rohan. She knew her identity, she knew she isn’t allowed to join the war, she knew that she is only bound inside the kingdom, but she didn’t remained that way. Why? Because she knows she can do bigger than staying inside the kingdom.

 

The last part of the movie made me cry. It moved me in tears, not only moved by it but burst me into tears. Mr. Frodo and Gandalf have to leave because their mission has been accomplished and that is to save the Shire, the Hobbits town. It moved me in tears that throughout the “restless” journey, Sam never had single thought of leaving Mr. Frodo even it risks his life. I was in tears because even many lives were lost; in the end they were still victorious. It affected me in some ways and touched my heart. Aragorn was appointed King and I like his speech, “The victory is not only for one man, but to also to all of you….”. Many random soldiers were involved in the war, they have their own family, they chose to fight for them, to secure them, even it means of losing their own lives. There’s always pain but when we learn that even in the midst of it, as long as we do it for all good, it will always be bearable.

Like Jonathan and David in the bible, they love each other like a brother. They stood for each other. They never leave by their side. Their friendship last forever till death do they part. The characters were almost hopeless and faithless. The enemies have given them many signs of deception of Mr. Frodo’s death. But they did not give in to it, they never stopped unless they found Sam and Mr. Frodo’s body. It was love that kept them going even it seems hopeless and the one they hold on to is not by their side, they still continued. 1 Corinthians 13:13 “And now these three remains: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.” The foundation of it all is LOVE.

I want to relate this to what Jesus did for us, an innocent man has to die for all of us, but it did not stop there, He gave us the great commission to every area of the world and He will be with us through the end of this age. Jesus is not the only one who shared the good news, because He is the good news Himself. Paul, Peter, John and many more has to suffer from all persecution and discriminations all over the world but with the fellowship of one faith, it never stopped them. Painful? Yes, but they know to whom they do their passion. Its all for the glory of God. If the fellowship of the Ring’s main purpose is for the destruction of the ring to Mordon. Our purpose here on earth is to not sit down but to share the salvation we have by grace through faith in Christ Jesus. That would be a “worht-it” journey. Ultimately, more than the movie’s story, Jesus is still one epic story. 

Photos: courtesy of google images

Why evening is my favorite of the day . . .

There  are many reasons why I love the evening. 

God created the heaven and the earth. He created the darkness and light in the sky. Light gives us hope. Light in the dark even gives us hope to pursue the tomorrow. I appreciate God’s creation in a deeper way when I get the opportunity to glance and gaze upon its beauty. What is the “its'” ? God’s creation. In a long tiring day whenever I get to see the night sky, I believe whenever I see the stars and moon, He tells me, “My strength is your strength, my daughter. Don’t become weary in doing good and righteous. I am here! I am your very great reward!” Those are His words that struck in my heart that keeps me going on my daily basis. Him! His very own words that makes me go from strength to strength. His face that shines every morning and still bright in the evening. His unconditional love and joy for me is unfathomable. I don’t deserve it but He still gives it wholeheartedly, without a doubt!

Here are some of my reasons:

1. As I said earlier, light gives us hope. For me, it really is and inspires me to continue the tomorrow

2. I just really love to see the stars while walking alone. Darkness doesn’t give me fear but only joy even in a lonesome night

3. I enjoy singing christian songs while walking in the evening alone

4. I get to have a 10 minutes talk with God

5.  I love the silence while grasshoppers do their own song

6.I get to see the shiny stars and say a little thanksgiving to God for its beautiful creatures.

Well those are just some of my reasons. The moments I get with God. It is indeed my favorite of the day. Still hoping to see more of God’s majestic creations through the galaxy 🙂 Yet it doesn’t stop there, God gives us so many reasons to enjoy the day even not in the evening. So enjoy the day with the Lord. Remember that God has His own reasons why such things happen. It simply because He loves us. 

 

The Majesty Himself never fails to leave me in awe reverence. The Majesty of all times and the Creator of the Universe never fail to amaze me. Looking forward for more….

photos: courtesy of google.com images

 

If you want to check out my other blog regarding this subject, here’s the link. Would love to hear from you too,  https://prayerworks19.wordpress.com/2012/10/05/54/

Closed doors

Every day it hast been a challenge for me. Each day I have to make sure I don’t hurt anybody . All those things matters. My friend, family and special someone matters to me. Their reaction, emotions and response on my every little actions to them. I have finally realized that people reaction towards my action is now my last concern. My first concern now is God’s opinion. He really matters so big when I get to hurt Him, it is really a BIG deal for me. I can’t have a good sleep, I always contemplate on my last action if it really pleased Him or not. That’s why there is this saying “think before you do it”, I’m still on the process of resisting what my heart tells me to do so even it means of “not today” or “now or never”. God is surely has been slapping my face back and forth. He’s been waiting for me to respond in such a way that it will only please, glorify and honor Him.

Now that I’ve come to the point of closing doors, its time for me to boost my relationship with my One and Only God. I am more expectant with God for the year 2013. I am excited because I believe God will bring me to different places and opportunities that will make me happy and make our relationship grow deeper.

2012 has been really a roller coaster ride, its been a year since I admitted that its not bringing me anywhere. Its only disobedience. Its only pride. So before the year ends, I definitely wanted to become someone God wanted me to be. More of molding and shaping of my character- building of character. Fear has been holding me back. What are those fears? I fear that I will not get to see them often if I only focus on what He wants me to do. I fear that God will take my loved ones so far away from me. I fear that no one will like me if I followed Him. But I realized God gave them to me. The people I cherish so much. I believe God is teaching me to go out from my comfort zone and I believe God is also preparing my loved ones. So for now, I have decided for the coming years, it will only be about us- God and me. Closing doors for courtship. Closing doors for any emotions that will pull me away from God. 

I’m sure when God finds me ready, He will automatically open my heart for that someone He’s been saving for me. I’m not in a hurry I believe God is also preparing that man and besides, I still have to enjoy my single hood. But I admit, I still need prayers. Prayers that will help me not give in to temptations. I need your faith that even in tough times I’ll be able to withstand it through Christ. Right now, what I know is I’m not going to entertain any man. He’ll know when to lay down if its the right time from God and if he is the one since I am devoting myself for God this coming year. So, I guess ‘do not disturb’ sign will do. God and I will have this moment. I believe God’s timing is perfect and it will come like I’ve never waited. I am really excited for this! 🙂

 

photo: courtesy of google.com

I will never fo…

I will never forget to acknowledge the real source of all my countless blessings in life. – Me

The moment I receive happiness, I always go back to the real source of all it. The real owner. My Lord. My God. My Provider. And when I am reminded, I always say “thank You Abba” These wouldn’t be possible without You in it. All the speechless and overwhelming moments in life came to life and able.

Lee Min Ho’s first visit in the Philippines

Well, don’t push me with the ‘idolatry’, I’m still a fan of a good person and well one of the most handsome man on the planet. This has finally come to my mind to start a blog of my once in a lifetime experience of seeing one of my most favorite Korean actor (I hope not just once…) When I heard that Lee Min Ho was given a privilege to be the newest global bench setter, my initial reaction was “Weh? Seriously? He will come and visit his fans too.” Then I said a little prayer to God. I wasn’t expecting that much that I am really going to see him, the security rest in God alone. Its okay with me if I’m not going to see him but the sighs were there. Then one of my Ate posted a link to one of her members, also a fan of Lee Min ho, I commented also on that link and shared all my feelings. Then her member, Ate Ruth, PMed me and asked me if “Are you going to do whatever it takes to attend his visit?” And I assertively answered her, “Yes Ate, most willing to attend.” It took her one to two days to reply with my reaction. After two days, she finally got me with an answer that “Shek, I got you invite for Lee Min Ho’s visit. Lower box lang tayo.” Then my initial reaction was, of course, speechless! That moment I really screamed that my siblings were annoyed and shocked what happened to me. I was like “God, thank you so much for this blessing!” then I thank Ate Ruth for it. That was the most impossible thing that could happen to me because I am not hat person that would spend a peso just for an idol, and if it cost too much! i believe God made it a way for me to unwind and forget all the happenings in the past and it was also one of my realization to really appreciate God’s simplest ways of His blessings.

Its been three weeks of waiting since I received that gift. The long wait has finally over. November 16, 2012 this is the day the Lord has made. Heart is everywhere. My heart was pumping so fast and my status in FB was all about Lee Min Ho. So, Ate Ruth and her friends went to Cubao early to change the invite to ticket, the event will start at 7pm but we have to be early because of the line. I arrived at Cubao around 3:00pm the line was all over the Araneta Coliseum. Oh by the way, it was also my first time to enter the Coliseum literally! HAHA. So see how God move and answer our prayers? Nothing is impossible! 🙂

While waiting I tried to just tour my beloved tambay place when I was still a Trinitian for two years in college- Gateway. Well there are places that hasn’t change. I just really missed the place. I bought Burger Kings’s burger and hershey sundae. So yummy!

Then the long wait is finally over indeed. The long line subsides every 10minutes. What do we expect? They didn’t started at the exact time given. The crowd started to shout “7 na! 7 na! 7 na!” and “Lee Min Ho! Lee Min Ho!” while I was shouting “Ilabas na! Ilabas na!” (Take him out! take him out!). The technical kept on flashing the beauty poses of Lee Min Ho on the screen while we were all waiting for him. The MC, Hanz, tries to entertain us by being a joker and make us all laugh even at the most intense moment of our lives that we really want to see him!!! Then there is the countdown and video of Lee Min Ho coming on stage. After the countdown, guess what? NO LEE MIN HO! There were some intermission number first, like some impersonators dances and sang wondergirls, 2nu1’s and Oppa Gangnam style. Then after all the intermission number Sam Oh went out and called out Lee Min Ho’s on stage with matching fire and fog. All the ladies were screaming the crowd was wild!!! REALLY! Even I became so wild! 🙂

All in all, even I wasn’t in the patron its okay, to see him in a natural and gentleman way is enough for me. The screen was very helpful, saw his perfect-killer smile. He was interviewed, we suggested Adobo for his dinner. We just kept on screaming and shouting even while he was talking! He even had the guts to have the concern for his fans at the patron standing if they are doing okay because they don’t look okay. 🙂 After the one of the most unforgettable event in my life, I find it so sad, I was in teary eyes when he was waving goodbye to us. He manage to wave at our side. He tried his best to really entertain us with his good looking stature.

I found good in goodbyes though

here’s his photo with us on the screen. HUHU. T.T

this is the lady that gave me the chance to see my long time crush! 🙂

But of course, I thank Ate Ruth for giving me that opportunity to see one my most favorite korean actor and to just see his perfect-killer smile. I thanked God the whole time. Really! All the impossibilities came possible because of the “doubted” prayers.  He was able to touch the heart of Ate Ruth and consider me to get an invite! I am just really blessed that walking by faith is indeed walking with the Creator of EVERYTHING. After the event, the huge christmas tree at Gateway was lighted and it was very beautiful 😀

I will never forget to acknowledge the real source of my countless blessings in my life 🙂 Thank You Abba for everything

P.S PHOTOS are mine 😀 personally taken by me.

A hint for my Future Husband

Yes, I know! You might be wondering WHY “future husband” again? I just thought this could be a help for me and also for him, whoever that may be. Okay, so let me start on how I picture my partner 😀 I’ll just include some of the list here, the rest would be for keep.

No.1 He should be a leader! How can he lead me and our family, if he is not a leader ?! 🙂

No.2 He should be a family man! 🙂 I came from a big family and definitely I will be looking out for really a good provider and someone who would rather spend his time with me and our children than his bunch of work.

No. 3 Of course, he should be in love with God above all else.  Someone who really loves to pray (talks to God everyday). I have nothing to say because it follows everything. 😀

So what to expect if my future partner will court me? 🙂

He should be my friend already. God knows my heart, I really treat every single men as brother in Christ. As long as that man doesn’t give me a hint of “assumptions”. (Hey, don’t get me wrong! Ladies do have discernment too..) He should know what are my likes and dislikes 😀 Or types of food? HAHA. I do love some particular Japanese/Korean cuisine. Yeeeeiiiizzz… I do love them! 🙂 And he should know where to bring me if he wants to take me out for dinner 🙂 I also love flowers and chocolates, I prefer them than teddy bears. Of course, he should have laid down ALL his intentions before the DATING will occur.. 🙂

But still, before those things might happen, he should have asked me from God first then court my friends and family. He should be sure that I am the one, and I should be certain of what response if EVER he will tell or lay down his intentions. In all those things, I should be READY and PREPARED. Scary? I must not! I believe God will prepare both of us in that season in His perfect time. I am more expectant with what God will do in our lives. I may not know him yet? Or maybe he’s already out there, waiting for God’s perfect time for us. I really don’t know. 🙂 But one thing for sure, God is molding, shaping, preparing and using both of us in His kingdom and for His glory. 

And I am more excited till we get there- exchange our “I do” and unveil my veil at the altar and whisper the words “you are worth the wait, my queen..” Walk me hand in hand with full confidence after that tiring yet worth it day of our most official day as married couple in the cool wind breeze of the beach or in the garden. The day that we have been waiting for is finally here 🙂 However, that would be another first chapter in our new journey of life being one flesh and being together. I know that God, the owner of everything will provide every single needs and desires of our hearts. It’s still another challenge for both of us but I am most certain that it would be easy if we will help one another.

What’s more exciting for that moment? My dad! As he guides me and walk me in the aisle, he will hand me over to you, I am sure that will be the most emotional part for me. I love my dad and I know he is also waiting for that moment but as his first princess, to let go is the most difficult part. (HAHAHA! Speaking like I’ve been there?) God has His own ways of twisting and arranging the stories. I might not like it at first but definitely He will change my heart and teach me that His plans are still the BEST.

Above all else, the author of our love story my dear F.Husband should be our top PRIORITY and top agenda of our daily basis. With all these things, I will still go back to my God who has given me so much and trusted me with much. More over, I know that God will not meet us with holes and breaks in our hearts. He will make us both complete and whole in His presence. I am most privilege for the most awaited day of our “Till I met you” and “Hello” of our once upon a time and tell each other “you are WORTH the wait…” Enjoy WAITING! 

Dearly beloved, 

Your future wife 

P.S

—-> So, dear F.Husband, you now have the idea of where to bring me if you will ask me out for a date 🙂 

*sigh

courtesy of google images

Not on anybody or anything

Most of the people nowadays are alive when they talk about LOVE! Yes, LOVE! Even me, personally and honestly, I wiggle whenever I hear a LOVE story…But just a thought and should be an application in our daily living. 🙂

You don’t need a guy just to get closer to God. You need YOURSELF to realize that with or without SOMEBODY, YOUR HEART and YOUR WHOLE BEING should be FOR God alone. And not on somebody or anybody. You need to see yourself in your life that kind of relationship you’ve been longing, that ETERNAL Relationship that no one can equal to. He’s been knocking on your door, yet you are not willing to open. How can you have that relationship if you don’t want to welcome the Loving Father of all time?!

We are unique in all our ways whether we like it or not. May kanya kanya tayong kagandahan at kasamaan! Emphasize on KASAMAAN(bad side) since we are still HUMAN yet we should not allow it to dominant our lives. Since we have said the words ” Jesus is my Lord and Savior” let’s not take it so lightly. Don’t take it like a whisper in the wind that fades. Be a steward of His creation. Be a good example Titus 2:7. Life is too short, in fact,  where were you for the last couple of years? where were you 20years ago? Where were you if you didn’t allow Him to enter your life!?! You wouldn’t be there if He is not present in your life.

All the insecurities, doubts, jealousy, pride, hatred, arrogance, immorality, and all the WHAT IF’s are all tactics of the opponent. Because he already knows that he is defeated, he gets insecure and tries to destroy the image and reputation of our minds. It all starts on one look then there’s second then there’s a verbal “Ang cute niya… sana…” blah blah blah… 😀 We allow the defeated to cripple those kinds of thoughts in our minds and becomes a stronghold. Yet in Romans8:31-34 it is said we are more than conquerors and who can be against us?! HOLD on to it! Have firm foundation! do not allow this things to mingle in our minds. SAY NO immediately!Titus 2:12

Remember that we should get all the security and affirmation from the Best Lover of all time 🙂 JESUS!

We should not be afraid of our past, present and future because you believe in yourself that YOUR life is in GOOD HANDS of the Almighty God. Jer.29:11 and Heb.13:5

He should be the water of the thirsty souls like us.

He should be the sun of the dried plants like us.

He should be the oxygen, whenever you are having difficulty of breathing, you will always remember you need Him to ease the pain.

He should be the wheels of your car, a reminder that He is in control of your life.

He should be the electricty, a reminder that God brings life in our boring life.

He should be the BULLS EYE (main goal) in your life, a reminder that HE should be the aim for the rest of your life.

He should be the note or chord of your song, a reminder even out of tune He will always be in tune for us.

He should be the bandage of our wounds, a reminder that He covers up all our problems.

He should be our EVERYTHING, because He gave His everything to us for our salvation 🙂 

Our 24/7 should be His’ and not ours.. Our time, our availability really matters to God. If we can manage to invest our time on anything or with somebody, we should also invest most of the time to the Most High.

😀

Neither on anybody nor anything but with God alone will I get my affirmation, security and assurance of a perfect relationship! 🙂

I can say that I am secured and not in rush. 🙂

Seek Him first Matt. 6:33

He is my Vine and I am His branch

😀 senxa na sa wrong grammars 🙂 hihi

Posted by PrayerWorks at 9:56 AM