Heart at Rest

Here I am, walking along these streets. Giving myself a “spa massage” (metaphoricaly). From lies, joys and blue moments I tried to keep myself fair and just for the sake of holding into something which I dearly love. But it’s not giving me joy anymore, it has become “obligation” instead. Its almost 6:30 pm and I want to flashback all the memories I had with the people who helped me become someone better.

Last night, with new friends, I had a divine appointment. You see, I’m a Christian, not only by title but also in relational concept. I have a relationship with Jesus. My season is always WAITING. In any aspect, WAITING has been my season. But I believe that part of my waiting is also “preparation”. God is helping me to be prepared in whatever may come my way. Nature, his beautiful creation, tells me that I am worth it, I am deserving, I am valued, I am loved, I am beautiful through the winds, trees, clear skies and cheerful strangers.

God is someOne who loves surprises. One thing that really made my last nights bonding was “Seek God first. He is preparing something best for you. You don’t have it now, maybe because God is still preparing and molding you to handle some things.” Which I agreed to. I just listened to them. Nodded. And felt their testimonies in their lives. But little did I know, for a minute, God is the One speaking to me through them. I am deeply blessed that I didn’t say no (which at first I felt scared because I don’t even know them). Although I knew it already, it becomes a redundant reminder to me which I neglect to embrace it. But its all about wisdom, sensitivity and trust in God.

Gusto ko umiyak kagabi, empathize with them and tell them how blessed I am hearing their changed lives. Their humble heart encouraged me to push through. Just keep doing what glorifies God. Let go of the things that hinders me from growing. And from then on, it gave me strength, confidence and assurance that I should really get out from my box.

And 1 Peter 3:3-4
“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment,such as braided hair and thewearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a GENTLE and QUIET SPIRIT.”

The gentle, quiet spirit. TRUST. FAITH. HOPE. Yes, we need these in order to be strong. We need these to be prepared. We need these to have the consistent assurance that God knows best. Hearts at rest.

thoughts 104

I just turned 24 recently last May 19, 2014. Nothing new happened nor anything surprising. Same like ordinary day came by on my birthday. Though there were some few efforts from my loved ones like a sliced cheesecake with candle lit up on my last minute of my birthday which I absolutely appreciate and of course a birthday song. I also received birthday greetings from my friends through texts, personal, and facebooks. I absolutely appreciate my dearest friends who put up an effort just to greet me and letters really close to my heart.

Anyway, another thoughts running through my mind as of this moment which I’m not sure prepared to share it here. But I’ll just share a few close to that details.

I am still waiting. Either I’m waiting productively or unproductively. Am I just wasting my time on something not really coming or am I just passionately taking risk for the sake of “love”? A lot of questions, doubts, hesitations and confusions are going on to my mind. I asked myself if I’m still taking the right path. Is this really what I want? Is this really for me? Am I just going to endure all this without getting in return? Does this deserve all my efforts and time? Is this the time to say goodbye? Many, many interrogative remarks were running through my mind.

I believe the only reason why I choose to persevere because of “love”. But what I’m not sure of if this is still “passion”. Different meaning but something in common= time and effort. We love with effort and time. We passionately do things with TIME and EFFORT. We don’t love without passion, we don’t have passion if we do not love. Physically and emotionally I give time and effort but bodies and minds have its limits. We get tired, exhausted, pressured and burned-out.

I’m tired, exhausted, pressured and burned-out. Yes, physically and emotionally burned-out. Whenever I’m at work, Recently, I’m starting to ask myself “Do I really deserve this? Do I really have to wait more than a year to get promoted? Till when shall I wait?”. More than the career, as the eldest, there were a lot of frustrations and pressures. The desire of helping my parents, supporting my siblings and helping financially to the needs of my parents.

In spite of all those issues and insecurities, I’ve resolved ’em whenever I refocus my goals to JESUS. Spiritually speaking, yes, I’m grounded on my TRUE foundation and I will never be shaken. His love allows me to see this. . . .

Isaiah 40:29-31
“29 He gives strength to those who are tired; to the ones who lack power, he gives renewed energy.
30 Even youths get tired and weary; even strong young men clumsily stumble.
31 But those who wait for the Lord ‘s help find renewed strength; they rise up as if they had eagles’ wings, they run without growing weary, they walk without getting tired.”

Romans 8:28
28 And we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose,

mahirap but I believe everything happens for a reason. I just need to inspire myself and continue to focus my goal to JESUS. I know that in time, I’ll take the risk of getting out from my “comfort-zone”. And I believe it is sooner.

La Virginia Resort, Batangas

2014 san Pedro Doctor’s Hospital Anniversary held at La Virginia’s Resort, Batangas from May 6-7, 2014
Glad that the employed staff invited us (volunteers) to enjoy the companionship of our Seniors and Junior staff. Here’s my 10 notes regarding my experience 🙂

1. We arrived at La Virginia at most probably around 9:30am? I’m not sure but it was a bit early. We fixed our things, looked for our beds space. Retouched.

2. As we arrive to the place, the place was really like under the mountain. The road was on its peak and very high, difficult to walk up, but the view was really a speechless moment for me. I was so excited. I’d rather go to the beach than go to the pool (my mind says). As I went down from the van, I even had deep craving for white-sand beaches…

3. Of course before eating, our senior staffs gave us time to enjoy the sight and spend time productively with workmates. Picture here, picture there. NONSTOP!

4. There were so many places to go, because the resort is so big! First spot is the Gorilla. Amazing Sculpture, inspired by the movie King Kong I suppose?

5. We also went to the small hanging bridge, scared each other from falling. But it did not stop us from taking pictures.

6. Solo pictures became group pictures, not one matinong solo picture given…

7. There’s also a Huge Buddha. The rad tech took picture next to small buddha because he looks just the same with them.

8. A castle built near the entrance, very cute, we didn’t go inside but the place is sure! there’s also an imitated white sand beach with fake helicopters under water. Plus the famous super heroes of this generation. I took photo with Captain America, since there’s no Superman, in substitute.

9. Swam our hearts out. Ate delicious foods. Played games. Had so much fun with great awesome workmates!

10. More than the delicious foods, beautiful place, competitive games, what even made me happy was being with awesome people who are willing to be part of my life.

We work professionally, but beyond work, there’s a strong bond within us. I am thankful to be part of this family. And thank You Lord for this blessing and experience! 🙂 I know that this is part of Your plans. You know me that much that You give the desires of my heart. 🙂 #thankful and #grateful 🙂

Motivation at work

Day in and day out since my grandmother passed away, I’ve decided to stay at home and be with my father who just freshly came abroad. For the second week (If not mistaken), my dad encouraged me to apply and join the job fair held at SM Sta. Rosa. There were opportunities and open doors but few of them responded to my application. Beforehand, hospital has been the desire of my heart. As a nurse, with a little experience from government hospital I know that when I’m inside the hospital I can apply my 4 years skills as a nursing student.

From job fair none of them didn’t pursued me consistently. when my dad went back abroad, I’ve decided not to be on a couch potato, I encouraged myself to push on a non-stop application until I get response from them. Its been my prayer to be accepted in the hospital.

When I tried at San Pedro Doctor’s Hospital, I had the urge of praying for it. I immediately talked to God. After a week, I got a message from SPDH for an interview. With fullness of joy and happiness, I didn’t let it pass by. I was unexpected assign at Emergency Room, one of the place I hated before. (haha)

First day at ER, I was still aloof but my seniors didn’t hesitate to orient me with the protocols I needed to know. So let me go straight to my title. What really motivates me going to work?

1. It’s a hospital.
2. It’s a one ride way from home. Which means a cheaper daily cost of transportation.
3. Emergency. Meaning, you’ll be trained how to manage time and TRIAGE
4. Free meals! 🙂
5. I want to do my best this time (compared to my previous hospital, I didn’t do much)
6. I like my trainers/seniors! They really oriented me!
7. I like “some” approachable doctors. *grin
8. Staff nurses are very nice and approachable.
9. Cases at ER are challenging.
10. My seniors are very good in motivating their co-workers. They know how to uplift a beginner.
11. They are very friendly.
12. Evaluation process. 🙂
13. I love IV insertion to pedia.
14. I’ve got an INSPIRATION :)))) (You need it to maintain the smile on your face!)
16. and most of all, I know that God has plans for me why He put me in this place.

Hopeful and expectant for what He is about to do in my life. Holding on to His promises. This may be painful at first but I know that God is my ultimate comforter and He is not yet done with me. I know that He knows what’s best for me. Totally in surrender and trust in Him. 🙂

P.S Sorry for the wrong grammars and spelling if there are.. 🙂