As the year ends, I did some time alone to recall the whole year. I admit that this year has been a challenge for me. Ang daming pagbabago sa sarili ko, I had to change my perspective in life, including principles and beliefs. Kinilala
ko rin sarili ko. My lifestyle changed as well but I can attest God’s faithfulness in my life. From tears to tears, moon and back, front to cover, God showed me His power over my life. Not my plan, but His will to be done.
People come and go as they say. People enter in your life and then suddenly leave with invalid reasons or unexplainable circumstances. Sometimes they leave because that’s the only best choice to express their love for you. I had the most unforgettable events this year, I learned and discovered that I am a “land person” when I started mountain climbing. I finally learned that my top 2 love language are words of affirmation and time. Ang dami ko pang kailangan idiscover sa sarili ko,I just have to continue to get out from my comfort zone.
During the leaders group Christmas party, we had this activity of back tracking the year’s highlights. I got the chance to scan and review my posts from Facebook and Instagram even the tweets from Twitter. I found myself in awe and tears how God has been really gracious to me. I couldn’t be here without God’s unconditional love, I don’t wanna sound Holy or religious but this is just the truth. God has been really faithful in my life.
I thought I couldn’t get up but He made me realized that He won’t put me in a situation if I cannot handle it. Kaya nasabi ko rin, “Siguro, nakita rin ni God na strong ako. Kaya He allowed these to happen.” For the first three months I kept on thinking “What did I do to deserve this?” “Why did this even happen to me? Of all people, why me?” I know I do not have the right to ask God my “Why’s” because who am I to ask the King of kings and the Lord of lords. It’s a shame for me to ask, but I just came to Him with open arms and humility in my heart. God hasn’t really answered it exactly, (and I stopped asking)He doesn’t have to but right now, I see the BIGGER picture. It is about the obedience, leaning on to Him even it means of letting go of the things or people in life. At the end of the day it will always and should be ABOUT HIM.
Through obedience I saw God graciously move in our midst. He restores what was lost. He gives us hope and makes us realize that above all things He is in control. I am now in tears as I type this, maybe not with what I hoped but the God I serve is the God of restoration. People may see me broken or “bitter”, they may even tag my past a joke but what makes me stand firm is that God will always be behind my story because He is the author of my life. I won’t mind what they will say or even how they insult me. Fixing my eyes on Jesus. 😁
Many times when I get back from step one, “denial” then end my day with “acceptance” which only depicts that life can be so much fun and complicated at the same time. It also shows that we are limited, mapapagod ka rin. Iba si God magsulat, talagang unpredictable and exciting. Either you’ll cry or laugh. How do I describe 2015? RAIN. Isa pa na nadiscover ko sa sarili ko, I am now a pluviophile. Rain, not only it gives you a bed weather or a gloomy feeling but there is something about the rain that makes you feel happy and in love. I don’t know but that will best describe my 2015. I am expectant to what is ahead of me, lalo na sa 2016. Well I am always expectant to New Year’s naman. I remember 2015 countdown, sabi ko kay God, “ Excited ako Lord.” Of course, sa buhay hindi mawawala ang drama but as much as possible iniiwasan ko yan, sayang lang ang luha, kung alam ko naman matatapos din ang drama. Unfortunately, things don’t come the way we plan it but definitely there is always a solution with every challenges.
God picked me up again and embraced me for the nth time. I never felt secured, alive and more assured in His presence. He showed me that in every situation that I am out of control, He is in control. That I am limited and He is limitless. He wants me decrease and Him increase in my life. He wants ME and Yes, I am His.
I am ending my 2015 with a joy in my heart. I am welcoming 2016 with open arms and welcoming 2015 to my 2016. Yes, not a goodbye but hello again! Thank you for being part of my 2015 and looking forward you on my 2016.
Ps. Thank you for a fun-filled 2015
(Sorry na, sorry na sa wrong grammars ko. Haha)
On Bended Knees 