Forgiveness is a gift

I’ve been thinking lately that somehow I felt used by some so-called “friends”. Friends who said they would stay. Friends who used to call you when they have problems and make you feel special because they tell you their darkest secrets. Friends who would text you, “Where are you?” but to my unresponsive instinct they will favorably unconsider your presence because you’ll find out that they’re with their “other” friends already.

You see, I do not have that “bunch of friends” that would stick through thick and thin but I have “few” friends who would gear up and listen attentively to all my whining unreasonable assumptions based from my own judgmental thoughts. Those were just few. Where are the others? Ayun, masayang nalilimutan ako at hinaharap ang kasalukuyan kahit wala ang presensiya ko. To be honest, I am mad. They didn’t even dare to ask how I was doing? And they would just forget all the fun memories that we had. But I won’t let my emotions, this emotion, to prevail!

“Forgiveness is a gift” my resident doctor repeatedly shared as I tell some of my insights in life. I had to go through acceptance before I go to the finished line. I had to accept that fact that these friends of mine will not call me because they are happy (which is good!) even without me. Well, I am just saying that those were the days and I am on my season of expanding my horizon and contentedly accept the fact that this is how my life goes on.

How I received forgiveness? By a genuine encounter with Christ and not with people. I saw how I can be selfish at ALL times and I look at people how they move in the pace of life selfishly. I am always reminded by the FACT that PEOPLE WILL FAIL US but God will never do the same. As I have laid my foundation to the Rock of my salvation He let me see through my whole being by giving me the full access of sonship in His Kingdom. He convinced me my true identity, worth and value. Whenever I get reminded by that I was always put in the position of surrender. Because of that I will always be forever grateful that even I only have “few” people to trust and treasure, I know that in Him I will always find security and peace.

And you asked if I have forgiven them? 100% YES. friendship are not meant to depend on each other. Sometimes there are seasons. A change of heart either to stay or let go. A friendship worth your time and sometimes an immediate action of letting go. Wherever they are, I AM HAPPY FOR THEM. As long as I live, my time, effort, and heart will be available to them but don’t abused me, I’ll know if you are using me to fill that reserved chair which apparently not meant for me. So help me God.

So, forgiveness is a gift. It is either you accept it or not.

 

High Standards

I am the eldest in the family among four siblings. I am surrounded by older people with old fashioned knowledge. I always love to ask for counsel whenever I get confuse or can’t make up my mind. I go to them and ask for their help and guide. Eventually growing up, leaders I’ve encountered adapted the common reminder “Do not settle for less.” And so I made my standards on my own.

I am not going to deny that my standards were so high, that it came to the point I announce them publicly. Just last night I have realized the point why you have to keep your standards high. Here are some few reasons why you, ladies, have to keep it high:

1. First and foremost- You DESERVE THE BEST. Just like the same reminder I mentioned above, “DO NOT EVER SETTLE FOR LESS.”
2. It keeps me on track. Whenever I am on a tempting situation, like you’ll meet some man who is so close to the qualities you’ve listed, I’ll always go back to my journal and be reminded of them.
3. It protects me. It protects me from giving in to something that I don’t deserve and from desperation.

Those were just some of the few reasons why you have to keep your standards high. But don’t let your standards/ qualities be the main focus. Seek God and let Him lead you to the specific qualities you have to pray for. Actually, our standards may change, and eventually God will still bring that someone who can’t meet your standard. He’ll just touch your heart and be prepared for some reason. Just list down the qualities and lay it all down before God. But don’t let it preoccupy you. The most satisfying relationship is still with Jesus, no one else and no other name. Believe me, I know!

Abba Father

“how great is your love for me
that you gave up your son for me
now i am alive and free
father i love you
father i love you

your love made a way for me
into me you see
you love every part of me
father you love me
father you love me

oh, the love of my father
is deeper than any love i know
oh, the grace that he shows me
his love overwhelming
this i know
the love of my father
the love of my father
the love of my father
the love of my father

abba father
your love is never-ending
there’s no other love like yours
in your presence
my heart is overflowing
father i am yours”

This song drives me to worship God. Not only because I love the rhythm and music itself but rather, the lyrics describes the perfect personality of the Almighty God. While listening to this song, I stood up and put my feet to dance. Such an awesome time with the One.

I have resolved to surrender everything to God. That before anything else, He should always be my FIRST. I should always seek His wisdom. Hear His still small voice. Obey what He says. Response like Jesus and most espescially to love even certain circumstances are unloving just like what Jesus did.

Each day has its different story, either fun-filled or blue day. But whatever the situation is, I must always decrease. It is not about me. The glory does not belong to me. Its not about the person who will receive or hear your response. But rather it is for Jesus’ glory. Less of me and more of Him. It is really funny that we get tired of our repititive unresolved problems but what’s funnier is that at the end of it, sorrow turns to joy because we learned that each problems has its own solutions.

What we usually do when we are in trouble we sometimes kneel down,put our hands together, wipe the tears from our eyes, go to some quiet place, scream out loud what’s holding you inside and reflect. These are just some ways how we contemplate our complicated life. Life is pretty boring without challenges. We may get tired but I believe that God won’t give us situations that we cannot handle. He believes in us and He hopes that we also believe in His mighty power.

I am just in awe how He surprisingly meet all of my needs in an inexplicable ways. I just can’t contain the joy He gave me. This joy is just really an overflow of His everlasting love for me. And I am forever grateful for His grace and trusting me with His treasures here on earth. ❤️

True that it is all about Jesus. My desire for this year not only to have a deeper relationship with Jesus but also respond with love and peace just like Jesus. 💕

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. “John 14:27

“to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; “Isaiah 61:2

“and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility. “Ephesians 2:16

Southwoods Unihealth …..

As of today, I’m here at Mcdonalds southwoods. I came from Southwoods Unihealth to pass my edited resume. Before I went there, I was so dread nervous. I am wearing a corporate attire just in case of on the spot interview. The hospital is still on going construction with men workers. I haven’t seen one lady or any woman inside the construction site. I was assisted by gentlemen security guards (I suppose they should because its part of their job). The security guard assisted me all the way up to the third floor, instructing the workers to stop as I walk towards their way. Actually the building is not yet fixed but I guess they are almost half way finish. When I got to the room where I should pass my resume, the security guard wished me luck (Oh by thew ay, even the tricycle driver wished me luck as I rode off his vehicle). So I passed my papers to the so-called Mr. Alvin, and had a relief when I handled it to him. Asked him when they are going to start and if they have applicants already. He said yes and maybe late in June is their target.

Last year, as I see that building build it was already included of my prayer. I see it as my future hospital experience but not as a volunteer nurse rather as Staff Nurse in a special area. Every time I go home, when I was at the backride in tricycle, I was already praying for that hospital whispering these positive and full of faith words as I point and look to the not-yet finish building ” I’ll be one of your E.R staff nurse or a Staff nurse!”. I was asking it to God since last year, praying for a tertiary hospital and get employed this time.

Nothing is impossible to God who has given us these blessings. He knows where we are going to use our gifts for His glory. I just can’t believe that every time I whine and complain at my work, I still can’t give up this job, like what Sharon said on her movie Caregiver “I care about my job, I care about you, Sir”. I wholeheartedly care about my job even it takes no salary or just “thank you” in return.

It takes trust, hope, perseverance and faith to get to the place you’ve dreamed of. Love leads us to stir the unwavering passion to push hard and live the different circumstances. Experience teaches us to do better and help us throughout consequences.

Fears won’t stop me from pursuing and chasing my dreams. By the help of my greatest Backer in life, God, will surely make all things possible. He will surely be true to His promises.

I know….

I know Love, you have been waiting for me as well.
Do not fret even we’re surrounded with couples.
So stay strong and patient so you won’t be in a hurry.
I know deep inside your heart you are as excited to meet me.
Do not be in a hurry that you might fall to sin.
Stay grounded and firm with your foundation.
I know that you are praying for me earnestly.
I believe that your sweet prayers are one of the reasons why I’m still blogging this.
I am sure that all your desires are heard from above.

In faith and trust, our most-awaited story will surely something worth to share.
Just wait my Dear, God has something for both of us, let’s just trust His perfect time.

WAIT, my Love WAIT…….. He’ll soon show us the guide

pray continuously

Let’s just continue to trust and be in faith everyday 🙂

Let’s continue to put our trust, faith and security to the Creator and Author of our lives.

SOON

Thoughts 103

Here’s the continuations of my random thoughts. As I promised from my previous blog, I shared it there regarding the song “I won’t say I’m in love” from the Hercules Disney movie. Now, I just want to elaborate further why its lyrics caught my attention. Here’s the full lyrics.

I won’t say I’m in love

If there’s a prize for rotten judgment
I guess, I’ve already won that
No man is worth the aggravation
That’s ancient history, been there, done that

Who do you think you’re kiddin’?
He’s the earth and heaven to you
Try to keep it hidden

Honey, we can see right through you
Girl, you can’t conceal it
We know how you feel and
Who you’re thinking of?

No chance, no way
I won’t say it, no, no
You swoon, you sigh
Why deny it? Uh, oh

It’s too cliche
I won’t say I’m in love

I thought my heart had learned its lesson
It feels so good when you start out
My head is screaming, get a grip, girl
Unless you’re dying to cry your heart out, oh

You keep on denying
Who you are and how you’re feeling?
Baby, we’re not buying
Hon, we saw you hit the ceiling

Face it like a grown up
When you gonna own up
That you got, got, got it bad

No chance, no way
I won’t say it, no, no
Give up, give in
Check the grin you’re in love

This scene won’t play
I won’t say I’m in love
You’re doin’ flips read our lips
You’re in love

You’re way off base
I won’t say it
Get off my case
I won’t say it

Girl, don’t be proud
It’s okay, you’re in love
Ooh At least out loud
I won’t say I’m in love

Songwriters
BERT KALMAR, HARRY RUBY

The animated woman who portrayed the leading lady of Hercules has no guts of telling her true feelings for him. (Base on the lyrics) This simply shows that she has higher percentage of self control level which leads me to admiring her. I hope that ladies are also like her, (Though I know its just an animated movie) and it doesn’t even show the modern courtship there. Nowadays, women are very aggressive and they usually do the first move. Unfortunately, courting the men leads to heartbreak and shame issues. As a woman, I also felt like the urge of “wanting something so bad” but I learned that when we wait patiently its more rewarding than having something you want so bad instantly.

From that music video there are group of ladies teasing and whispering her that she’s in love. But the lady kept on pushing and teaching herself from not telling her true feelings for Hercules.

“No chance, no way
I won’t say it, no, no”

As I speak and remind this for myself as well, this is also my prayer to every ladies that you shouldn’t be on that fast forward or fast track. WAIT AND ENJOY the season you are in right now. Never ever tell your feelings to a man, or don’t make the first move and give him the hints that you like him. Let him do his job Sweetheart! Let him man up! So, if you feel you can’t control it anymore, look back and reread the two letters NO. So stay princess like.

DO NOT MAKE YOURSELF CHEAP BY YOUR UNCONTROLLED EMOTION FOR A GUY

Friendship that would last….

(John 1: 35-51) Like what Jesus did, He didn’t just sit down and stare to make friends. But instead He moved and made friendships that would last for years. Just like us, we were once strangers to people we now consider as friends. I encourage you to start moving beyond FORMALITIES and begin GETTING Acquainted.

HOPE

Is there something you’ve been wanting for so long that until now you don’t have it? Perhaps career, food, spouse or children? We will not appreciate the WAITING if we are trying to get what we want instantly. Its a long process, like in pursuing you’re chosen career, you start from the basic, “create an impressive and comprehensive RESUME” and “APPLY” or maybe food, you buy the ingredients; spouse and children, it is a long process, MATAIMTIM na PRAYER yan, its a decision and it takes a huge step of being “READY” on that area. But what God wants for us? TRUST. We need to learn to PATIENTLY and CONFIDENTLY wait and hope for something we do not yet have. TRUST! It takes a lot of TRUST, while trusting God we WAIT for it… I believe God has something greater for all of us as long as we fix our eyes on Him Believe and be in faith ALWAYS…

TRUST

Romans 15:13 The complete trust in God will produce complete JOY in our life. Whatever emptiness you feel God is the Only One who can fill you. Good noon! TRUST God that He can reach and give whatever pleases Him.

Everyday is “Valentine”

Before January ends, people are already preparing for something special occasion for the coming month – Valentine! Or if not Chinese New Year! I can’t say I’m not a fan of Valentines because I was once in love with it (when I was in a relationship). Love is always in the air. May it be February or not, people still love to love. Before the February arrived, I didn’t prepare for anything because like any other special days I give myself my own reward. 

Last week, my sister was admitted at the hospital because of Dengue Fever Syndrome and praise God for He heard our cry and prayers. She is now discharged and completely okay from decreasing platelet. February 14, 2013 we have decided to just do our things. We went to Salon and dyed our hairs. A gift from a stress relief from a four days 24 hours “bantay” of my lovely patient. She’s my Valentines date that day. I really enjoyed it.

But the day is more than that, I believe the reason why I don’t celebrate Valentines only on February 14 because everyday has been Valentines with the One who loved me first. I’m pretty sure all the confidence and love comes from above who unconditionally loved me so dearly.

Like any other ladies, I also love chocolates and flowers and know for the mean time it can give me joy and “kilig” but I looked after the person who was hanged on the cross 2000 years ago and lives today. I thought with or without roses and Ferrero chocolates I am more than happy since the day I accepted Jesus as my Savior for the rest of my life.

Allowing Him be the driver of my life built my confidence that in lack or full God will provide both my wants and needs according to His needs. I may not have a date in a luxurious restaurant at least I have the King and Creator of ALL things. People fail us but He will never. 

I thank Abba for not giving me flowers and chocolates for my eternal life because those fade but instead He gave His only Son, Jesus, who lives today, tomorrow and forever.

 

 

Everyday is a love day because I look upon the perfect Lover of my life.

We loved because He first loved us.( 1 John 4:19 )

For God so love the world that He gave His Begotten Son that whoever believes in Him will never perish but have everlasting life.( John 3:16 )