A hint for my Future Husband

Yes, I know! You might be wondering WHY “future husband” again? I just thought this could be a help for me and also for him, whoever that may be. Okay, so let me start on how I picture my partner 😀 I’ll just include some of the list here, the rest would be for keep.

No.1 He should be a leader! How can he lead me and our family, if he is not a leader ?! 🙂

No.2 He should be a family man! 🙂 I came from a big family and definitely I will be looking out for really a good provider and someone who would rather spend his time with me and our children than his bunch of work.

No. 3 Of course, he should be in love with God above all else.  Someone who really loves to pray (talks to God everyday). I have nothing to say because it follows everything. 😀

So what to expect if my future partner will court me? 🙂

He should be my friend already. God knows my heart, I really treat every single men as brother in Christ. As long as that man doesn’t give me a hint of “assumptions”. (Hey, don’t get me wrong! Ladies do have discernment too..) He should know what are my likes and dislikes 😀 Or types of food? HAHA. I do love some particular Japanese/Korean cuisine. Yeeeeiiiizzz… I do love them! 🙂 And he should know where to bring me if he wants to take me out for dinner 🙂 I also love flowers and chocolates, I prefer them than teddy bears. Of course, he should have laid down ALL his intentions before the DATING will occur.. 🙂

But still, before those things might happen, he should have asked me from God first then court my friends and family. He should be sure that I am the one, and I should be certain of what response if EVER he will tell or lay down his intentions. In all those things, I should be READY and PREPARED. Scary? I must not! I believe God will prepare both of us in that season in His perfect time. I am more expectant with what God will do in our lives. I may not know him yet? Or maybe he’s already out there, waiting for God’s perfect time for us. I really don’t know. 🙂 But one thing for sure, God is molding, shaping, preparing and using both of us in His kingdom and for His glory. 

And I am more excited till we get there- exchange our “I do” and unveil my veil at the altar and whisper the words “you are worth the wait, my queen..” Walk me hand in hand with full confidence after that tiring yet worth it day of our most official day as married couple in the cool wind breeze of the beach or in the garden. The day that we have been waiting for is finally here 🙂 However, that would be another first chapter in our new journey of life being one flesh and being together. I know that God, the owner of everything will provide every single needs and desires of our hearts. It’s still another challenge for both of us but I am most certain that it would be easy if we will help one another.

What’s more exciting for that moment? My dad! As he guides me and walk me in the aisle, he will hand me over to you, I am sure that will be the most emotional part for me. I love my dad and I know he is also waiting for that moment but as his first princess, to let go is the most difficult part. (HAHAHA! Speaking like I’ve been there?) God has His own ways of twisting and arranging the stories. I might not like it at first but definitely He will change my heart and teach me that His plans are still the BEST.

Above all else, the author of our love story my dear F.Husband should be our top PRIORITY and top agenda of our daily basis. With all these things, I will still go back to my God who has given me so much and trusted me with much. More over, I know that God will not meet us with holes and breaks in our hearts. He will make us both complete and whole in His presence. I am most privilege for the most awaited day of our “Till I met you” and “Hello” of our once upon a time and tell each other “you are WORTH the wait…” Enjoy WAITING! 

Dearly beloved, 

Your future wife 

P.S

—-> So, dear F.Husband, you now have the idea of where to bring me if you will ask me out for a date 🙂 

*sigh

courtesy of google images

Top 10 things my ‘future’ husband ‘must’ love about me

I was drove by one of my friends to write. HAHA. I like her blogs and it simply inspires me to write more too… You can check her site here : http://ramonafayealicarte.wordpress.com/ Go girl!

I do a lot of things and it gets to their nerve especially when I’m with my siblings but if they really value me they do not have a choice but to reconsider it! (LAUGH out LOUD). So here are some TOP 10 things my husband SHOULD and MUST love about me. This is a bit of a warning though. P.S — I am not yet married… But I will soon.. CLAIMING it already! 🙂 Well, so much for the talk. Let me start my number one! 🙂

No. 1 I don’t eat breakfast (sometimes) 🙂 So, Honey, if you like breakfast, since I am submitted to you, I guess I’ll adjust myself and cook a delicious bacon and prepare a cup of coffee for you.

No. 2 I don’t like dogs anymore (if I am married already). BUT if Honey, you want, I can still learn how not to hate them. 😀 I know they are adorable especially the pups, yeah, I can think about it. 🙂

No. 3 I love the night skies, I gaze upon them every night. So Honey, if you wanna ask me out for a date, I just have a couple and simple request, “in the evening with beautiful lights and a healthy food in a classic table..” Plus walk with me hand in hand in a cool wind breeze.

No. 4 My love language is TIME . You  should know this before you laid down your intentions my love. 🙂 So, if you are workaholic, please don’t be, you can bring your work at home but please be reminded I am still nearby – your inspiration.

No. 5 I love FERRERO Rocher and Hersheys chocolates. If you will make me stop eat chocolates specifically the ones I mentioned earlier? I will really get mad at you…

No. 6 I love SHAWARMA, as long as, the company gets the perfect taste of the GARLIC SAUCE. So Honey, if you don’t like meditterenean cuisine  I’ll dine in alone … Can you tolerate that? 😦

No. 7 I cry sometimes while praying. So Honey, bear with me if we pray together 🙂 I just can’t contain God’s faithfulness in our lives…

No. 8 I cook tasteless foods. (not all the time) Honey I’m so sorry if even in our marriage you’ll witness my tasteless cooks, at least, it is still cooked by me but for the record, I don’t cook unhealthy foods. (HAHA) But don’t worry I will try my best to satisfy your taste buds.

No. 9 I love notebooks. I love to write. If you would like to ask my family, I have tons of notebooks. JOURNALS. DIARIES. ORGANIZERS. So, you know what to give me on my first birthday together 😀

No. 10 I am hoping that once we get there? When we exchange “I do’s” I know you are a book lover and I am too, but one of my dreams is to have “our” room with tons of your and my books…I pray you’ll spare a room for our mini library.. 🙂

So, ladies and gentlemen, here are my top 10 things my FUTURE husband ‘must’ love about me. 🙂 I just don’t get my title? :)) HAHAHA. But for sure, my future spouse is already included in my TOP 10 and he should really love the things I love 😀 and if he doesn’t its okay, I want to be submissive 🙂

photos: courtesy of google images 🙂 not min 😀

Insecurities

Why did I write this? Because I was also insecure of everything but now I know who I am… and one reason too is I was inspired by a writer  😀 Hope this will help you somehow..

When you look at the other person, trying to drag them down, that is being insecure…

When you are trying to get the attention of EVERYONE, that is being insecure.

When you wear super duper mini skirts make the boys’ look at you in a lustful way, that is being insecure.

When you compare your partner/husband to some “hot”/handsome guys, then you are being insecure..

When you want others thing and wish you were in their place that is AGAIN being INSECURE…

When you are trying to “humble” yourself in front of many guests, you want everyone to sympathize with you, that is being INSECURE..

When you make yourself “perfect” in make-up but not in your natural look, that is being INSECURE…

If you do not love yourself, then you will never stop feeling insecure.

If you do not know how to forgive yourself from wrong doings and pride is holding you back then you wouldn’t find security.

If you find happiness and joy through clothes, money, hollywood stars or fashion then you will always feel EMPTY because they are just temporary.. And hollywood star doesn’t even know you!

If you find security on things and people then you will always find yourself alone in your bed feeling lonely over and over again..

If you are trying to please men, well, sorry honey, you’ll never get everyone pleased…

If you do not know your identity, then you will always go back to your old self…

and when things go wrong there will come to point that you’ll blame yourself for being such a mistake on earth…

BUT …

IF ONLY, you know WHO you are in the EYES of the Creator,

you will always find strength to rise up even when you stumble,

you will always find peace, even the world is dragging you down.

you will always find comfort, even you do not have someone to talk to anymore.

you will always find yourself BEAUTIFUL no matter what other people say about you…

you will always know you are VALUED because your security is not in men but in God alone…

and because you know that you are created next to the image of the Creator..

You know you’re identity.. You know where to put your security, trust, hope and faith…

and that is through CHRIST.. Who died for you and me 2000 years ago.. Rose after three days for our salvation and fulfillment of the word.. And since Jesus is holy, DEATH COULD NOT HOLD HIM DOWN… He is alive and if you are willing to welcome Him then you’ll encounter more of Him …

You are the most precious creation He has on earth more than anything… So don’t you ever dare to question who loves you or who will ever love me? Because He first loved us 🙂 

 

 We love each other because he loved us first. 1 John 4:19

 

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.” John 15:9

 

And remember before we were born He already knows you, He has already laid down His plans for us…

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” Jeremiah 29:11

 

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,…” Jeremiah 1:5

 

I also want to share that God’s plan for us not really to abandon us, He will never leave us, it is His promise, (Hebrews 13:5)

One of my favorite reminder God has for me is this : “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2

Good! PLEASING! and PERFECT will — we may never understand how we feel for ourselves, we may never understand why we look like this, we may never comprehend these verses, but one thing I am sure of – – HIS will for us is better than our will… Ours are just a speck of dust, but His? Is as wide as the universe, as big as He is! 🙂 I cannot imagine! But that’s the truth! He loves you and me! 🙂 Ok?

I hope that you will not also trust the trending fashion, I’m not saying that wear pajamas wherever you go, that is absurd, but we should know how to dress ourselves as modest as possible 😀 Especially ladies, let’s not crave the eyes of the men looking at our legs.. Let’s make ourselves holy and pure before our future spouse and God 🙂

 

“Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes.You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. ” 1 Peter 3:3-4

 

Desire more to have a gentle and quiet spirit.. 😀

Let us put our security, trust, hope and faith in God alone and not in men 🙂

Life is not easy but it is still worth it…

You will all understand these if YOU really have relationship with Jesus 🙂

I want end this with a verse:

Psalm 139:13-18

13 For you created my inmost being;    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;  your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you    when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;all the days ordained for me were written in your book  before one of them came to be.

17 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!  How vast is the sum of them!

18 Were I to count them,  they would outnumber the grains of sand—    when I awake, I am still with you.

I hope that this helped you somehow.. 🙂 But I also hope you found the meaning of who you really are in God 🙂

I just can’t believe I wrote this… 🙂

Hope you also understood my grammar 🙂 Thanks anyway, and feel free to share this…

photos: courtesy of google

#spreadLove

Secured

What do I long for? Where do I really put my trust, hope and security? Where is my faith? Can faith move mountain? Am I really loved? Is there someone praying for me? When will I get what I want? What is it that I want?

These were my confusing questions battling repeatedly in my mind. These were the questions that ALMOST shook my faith. Questions that were answered already yet I ignored and bypass them.I honestly admit that I find trust, hope and security from other people. You might ask me: Where else you must put them? Let me just share a brief testimony that there is someone else you can trust other than the people you thought could stay forever.

A friend of mine kept on reminding me, “KNOW YOUR PRIORITIES”, another friend told me“SURRENDER AND FOCUS” and finally God repeatedly told me “Do not be afraid…” “Leave your country and I will bless you..” “Stop doubting and believe..” “I give you peace..” “Be still and know that I am God..” and capital letters O-B-E-Y. Of course my friends were really instruments of God, even my Dad encouraged me through God’s word and same revelations. But really God is insisting me“Let go and let Me do my job in your life my princess”.

After all the reminders and all God’s ways, the question is still there. “Where do I really put my trust, hope and security?” So I meditate on it day and night: Where? How much time do I spend in God’s word? Do I spend more time with my family? Am I really in focus? Did I really surrender it all to God? God answered it, and I felt so ashamed and sorry for myself before God (as in if you really know what it feels) that I keep on insisting what I want to happen in my life. Nakakahiya lang talaga kay God that every devotion, He keeps on reminding me what to do, until I’ve been misled with my emotions and selfish ambitions that are not from God. I’ve been carried away with all the funs and blessings He has given me that I haven’t notice my time and energy is wasted so much to the least priorities.

But you know what? God did not give up on me! He nonstop convicted me through His word and used people close to my heart to open my eyes and heart. God’s faithfulness to our forefathers remained the same, “The Lord was with me…” Always! Not only during the good times but also in bad times. Joseph the dreamer was successful because of the Lord’s presence In His life. Jacob believed that God is with him wherever he goes. Abraham obeyed and God graciously fulfilled His covenant and promise to him. From generation to generation even before Christ, God’s love and faithfulness is upon His people. And I believe in our generation, it may seem impossible but those who believe in the Lord, nothing is impossible.

Going back, God did not give up on me, He fulfilled His promises. Even I had a heart of stone or dry heart, He continued His mission to me. He used my family and friends to slap my face back and forth like “Shekyna! Wake up! FOCUS! Look at Jesus only.” God’s sweetness may be shown in different ways, He gave me friends that I can talk to, friends who envisioned and prayed for me. I believe this is it! (God really answered these prayers).

God will not allow my impurities to conquer my whole being instead God made a way that I could talk to the people I encountered misunderstandings. He gave me confidence, willingness and boldness how I felt during those times (Soul tie, like my friend shared to me once) and try to fix things by His grace. It is really God’s perfect time for us to exchange apologies and acceptance of being new creation of God. I can really see the changes, though I am not saying that I am ALL out OKAY because I am still in process of continuous change for God’s glory. I entrusted all aspect of my life one by one to God. I invest more time with my family (siblings specifically) and update my dad with all the happenings and time for my victory group. All in all what I have concluded, it’s really a matter of obedience.

As I mentioned earlier, God did not give up on me, He gave me a second chance. Now that I have done some of His request and I am still willing to give my ALL to Him, like what He promised “I leave you peace. I give you peace – Jesus”. I can now answer the question directly, “Where do you put your trust, hope and security?” – in God alone. I am saying this because again I found what I’ve been longing for, well I had it with me, I had it in me, but I haven’t notice that I am being selfish until it made my heart dry. I realized that even you have the love of Christ in you, even you live in Christ, each of us, needs to nurture it through meditating and application on God’s word. Although I admit that this wasn’t an easy one, yung ibigay mo lahat lahat, it takes a courage to give up the people you love but since kilala ko kung kanino ko pinagkakatiwala ang buhay ng mga taong mahal ko, I believe that they are in good hands of my Abba Father and these are just some of my resolved issues that were entrusted to God and I am still willing to surrender all the things I haven’t surrendered. I am willing and open to obey God more than ever. He deserves my best and I want to give it all to Him. I put my trust, hope and security to my God alone. Right now, I am claiming my total purification and refinement. How about you? Where do you put your trust, hope and security? Check your heart again.

STAR-GAZER-LOVER

And God said, “Let there be lights in the vault of the sky to separate the day from the night, and let them serve as signs to mark sacred times, and days and years,and let them be lights in the vault of the sky to give light on the earth.” And it was soGod made two great lights—the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars.God set them in the vault of the sky to give light on the earth,to govern the day and the night, and to separate light from darkness. And God saw that it was good. Genesis 1:14-18

Once a girl who was patiently waiting for a shooting star to come as she gazes upon the night sky. It was night after night, the girl would always look outside the window before she go to sleep, hoping that she could have the chance to see before she close her eyes.

As years goes by, when she reached almost 6-8 years old, while talking on the phone with a friend, as the sun descent below the horizon, she noticed a quick spreading-flame like from the sky. She gasped and hurriedly said her wishes and prayers silently. She was in unexpected reverence and totally forgot she was on the phone. It was a complete relief, finally, she saw what she’s been waiting for. The girl’s dream came true.

As she grows up, the flashbacks of that memory is slowly fading. She can’t remember the exact day but she can vaguely tell what exactly she saw back then. When she becomes teenager, her admiration to the night sky did not stop. The more she stares at the stars and moon, the more satisfaction she gets. Even without a shooting star will make her happy as long as she sees the stars and moon.

Despite of all the busyness, she didn’t stop doing what she likes to do. She continuously observed the position, shape and arrangements of the moon and stars respectively. She even called one of the brightest stars in the sky as her star, because she thought that maybe that is for her, winking and staring, as it twinkles at her. In her college years, as she walks towards their house, she would always look up first and with a pause, creating smile on her face and sigh quickly with these words, “WOW, thank You God!”.

Throughout her life, it’s one of her most favourite time contemplating the day. She liked to witness the incredible settings of the stars, planets and moon. It helped her persistently walk hand in hand with God. Although the sad reality says, that stars and moon is not every night visible, the inconceivable part here is, that even it doesn’t show up especially winter or rainy season, the evident of the light coming from the radiant beams of the moon enlightens a heart knowing that even in a dark place, there is a less light to guide us on our journey. Lesser light it may be, but it gives guidance from the Lord.

This girl never loses hope on what she believes in. She incessantly adore God’s extraordinary creativeness on Earth. The girl even appreciated the “lesser” light in darkness knowing He made it possible for her to survive the day.

As long as I live, stars and moon will always be one of the best remedies for my stressful days. I will always be grateful for God’s hands in His creation as His light radiantly serve as a tool and a remedy to a crushed spirit. As long as there are stars and moon or even little light in the sky it will always remind me of God’s faithfulness throughout the days of my life.

 phtos: courtesy of google images

Partners in prayer

I’ve been reading the book Partners in prayer by John Maxwell. It was not really an accident that book was put in my bed. Supposedly, my youngest brother should be reading it. Yet, I tried to scan it for few pages, tadah! Boom! I can’t stop reading it! I am just overwhelmed that book was brought inside our house! It helped my prayer life a lot! John Maxwell put this prayer of the civil war soldier and every time I read it, tears flowing right through my cheeks… I don’t know but it made me realize that what I’ve been through, it is part of God’s plan in molding my character!

I asked God for strength, that I might achieve,

I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey.

I asked for health, that I might do great things.

I was given infirmity, that I might do better things.

I asked for riches, that I might be happy,

I was given poverty, that I might be wise,

I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men,

I was given life, that I might enjoy all things…

I get nothing that I asked for but everything I had hoped for.

Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.

I am, among all men, most richly blessed!

disclaimer: I do not own the photo 😀

It’s not my lost

It’s not my lost if I haven’t agreed to your opinion.

It’s not my lost if I did not join you for supper.

It’s not my lost if I cannot come to dinner.

It’s not my lost if I supposedly treat you.

It’s not my lost if I should have offered my chocolate.

It’s not my lost if you are early and I am late.

It’s not my lost if you are not used to my changes,

It’s not my lost if I haven’t responding to any of your emails,

It’s not my lost if my feelings for you fail.

It’s not my lost if I don’t have any communication with you at all,

It’s not my lost if all of a sudden I would not recognize you anymore

For all the ‘YES’ when we were together, I should’ve said NO.

For all the dates, I should’ve said NO.

Yet I considered your emotions, I thought I might hurt you,

Yet a friend asked me, “Has he considered yours?”

I thank God because I thought I have lost but instead I gained a lot,

I gained tender-loving-care of my Abba Father.

But overall, I did not regret all that happened to us,

Because it was God’s plan for me to realize that there are lots of things I needed to surrender.

God’s faithfulness remains upon His sons and daughters forever and ever

disclaimer: I do not own the photo 😀

Tortured for Christ

 

I’ve read different kinds of books, I’ve met different people with various beliefs, and I’ve been to many places of imaginations yet this book broke my heart into pieces and lift my feet into dancing as well. Mixed emotions indeed from this book. I can’t bear some of the stories yet their love and passion for Christ ignited and flamed. I haven’t heard this book until one friend shared it. Then I got interested and borrowed it.

When I read it and I didn’t expect ill come throughout the next chapters. I get excited and thrilled about what’s going to happen and what happened to the Christians and torturers. I just can’t believe all the perseverance the forbearance of all the pain and sufferings throughout their lives. Richard W. the author of this book was imprisoned for about 14 years, half of those years were totally miraculous. Eight years inside the darkest chamber of the jail  and was taken from his wife and son, a Christian doctor wearing a torturer clothes saw Richard, and told everybody that he was still alive, and became a reason of his release. It was a  WOW! Eight years of starvation, tortured, and stayed in unsanitized comfort room (worst! No comfort room)! I just can’t imagine myself living in that kind of lifestyle. Personally, 1 or 2 days away from my siblings makes me go nuts! How much more eight years? Maybe he was able to adapt it already but his mind was still wandering and thinking of the people he loves.

I saw Richards’s faith, trust, hope and security in God. In the long run, he had hope even inside the darkest chamber, he had faith in God even his hands are painfully handcuffed by rusty irons, he had trust and security in God even he was far away from his family, even he had no food to eat, even he was surrounded with rodents and cockroaches. He had that life dedicated to God, ready to take the risk just to win souls for Christ.

While reading throughout the chapters, torture was there, physically in pain and mentally brainwashed. I thought to myself, I was brutally abused through words, murdered through mind and cursed verbally. It gave me wounds in my heart. How much more physically? How much more taking away your faith? How much more forcing you to say no to Christ? Richard knew his purpose that is why there were fewer worries. That is why he can still rejoice even in the midst of his excruciating pain in his heart and mind. Richard knew that through his weakness, God’s grace is sufficient.

God is alive! He exist! Do I need to say more? My life is a living testimony. My near death bed experience was a miracle in my life. When I had a dengue, with decreasing platelet, transferred in intensive care unit was a tremendous enough reminder for me that He did not abandon me. My scar on my left lower ear was also a significant reminder that God did not allow me to lose my hearing. The moment I was squeezed between the door of the MRT was also a memorable experience (HAHA! I felt like a superwoman that time!) Today is a miracle for me! Typing this as if I don’t care if my grammar is correct or not (HAHA!). Every brand new day is a gift for me. Because another day awaits to celebrate His goodness, another 24hours to witness His mercy and faithfulness and another day to worship Him in everything I do.

This book has motivated me to rejoice even in the midst of nothing and trials. I was rebuked many times. How I usually complain under the heat of the sun, how I get irritated in a small crowded place, how I usually go crazy whenever I see cockroaches and rodents or whine how excruciating the pain was when hammered. Such a blessing in disguise indeed! All in all I still consider myself blessed! I am in an open country where I have the freedom to go to church every Sunday, no one is going to stop me or going to snatch me for being firm in my faith.

I’m about to end this, but I just want to share one of my favorite passage in this book. It shows the contentment and it tells that to worship God chooses no place. God is everywhere and we can praise and worship Him everywhere. I am a fanatic of nature, especially the night skies, I totally admire moon and stars.

“We of Underground Church have no cathedrals. But is any cathedral more beautiful than the sky of heaven to which we looked when we gathered secretly in forests? The chirping of birds took the place of organ. The gragrance of the flowers was our incense. And the shabby suit of martyr recently freed from prison was much more impressive than priestly robes. We had the moon and stars as candles. The angels were our acolytes who lit them.”

I am still in awe of how God put that satisfaction with these people. They were truly embraced in the arms of the Heavenly Bridegroom.

photo: courtesy of google images 😀

The day ‘he’ took my Blackberry Torch 9860

I know some of you might think “What the?” or maybe “who is that ‘he’ she’s talking about?”. I got my phone last May 13,2012, that was my parents present for my graduation. It was all unexpected since Iphone4 was all out. (HAHA!) Most of the time, I always loss my phone in a mysterious way. Last year, I had my first touch screen phone, C503, for ONLY two months. Then my dad bought me new phone but this time its a SamSung dual sim (not touch screen). I enjoyed it. I didn’t want any expensive phones anymore since that happened.

Yesterday, before I took off from tricycle I put my phone in front pocket of my back pack. I was waiting for the signal light in pedestrian walk. When it hit the green light, people started to walk, when I saw the signboard of the nearest jeep, I ran towards it when I felt someone opened my bag, I turned and saw a man, like as if he was going to ride the jeep ” Saan po papunta ito?” then he started to put something on his pocket. There then I realize my front pocket became flat- open, no more phone! KABOOM! I started to shout “KUYA!” No one seems to care about it. I put myself in a safe aisle first  to look for that man, because I saw his face, unfortunately, I wasn’t able to see him again.

Then I started to ask some tricycle drivers, I asked them with full confidence, ” Kuya, may nakita po ba kayong lalaki? “. “Ano itsura?” kuya asked me to describe the face, “PANGET!” I replied with a hint of smile. “Ano pa?” asked kuya 1. “Bungal, nakawhite shirt, nakasumbrero, nakaearphones…” I said. Then another kuya said,”E ate ako ata yung tinutukoy mo e…” They were all trying to make me laugh. Good thing too. Then I started to cry… Tears flowing through my cheek.. I can’t stop, then an old lady approached me too while the tricycle drivers were trying to comfort me, asked me what happened and all that stuff. I know that it was also my fault.

The anger and revenge was all in me. I want to run after that man, the thought of, “KAPAG NAKITA KO TALAGA IKAW,..” I was imagining all the things I could do to him, the “TAEKWONDO” skills I have, the “UFC” defense and ALL. Then Kuya asked me, “sumigaw ka dapat. paLoiter ka nalang.” “magtago ka na muna, kasi baka andito pa yun, nakikita ka pa niya..”, then I replied with all the anger in me, “Bakit may magagawa ba sila? Sumigaw ako, wala naman pakielam mga tao nung nangyari yun, kahit ung traffic enforcer walang ginawa…!!!”.

But with all that, it took me more than 15 minutes to ponder of what really happened, that was my first time that I really saw the face and felt that someone picking out my phone from my bag. Usually, my phone just disappears without knowing. Mystery comes to life! And WADAP! It hurts indeed! Then naisip ko, sige alis na ako, malate pa ako sa WORSHIP NIGHT. I was already inside the jeep papuntang Festival, I thought to myself, “Sige, alis na ako..” but all in my mind was to really look for that man because I thought maybe he was just living around Pacita too. Then I started to pray, “God, this is ok lang naman di ba? Renew my strength, comfort me, teach me to forgive that person..”. All the tears flowing through my cheeks. I hate the guy and myself! There was hate all over me. I though my dad, the phone was given from my parents then I will just lose it. What a shame! 😦 I believe through that prayer God has already moving into my heart.

I was already in Festival when I saw Ate Joanne and cried to her, I was thinking of my member, Janelle, what happened to her? And if ever I will still see her since I do not have any contacts of her. The service already started, saw Ate Jochris, cried again, then saw Joan in the CR, thank God saw these women. Plus! The message Pastor Sonny delivered was so timing, God is really the God of perfect timing. He said, “Kahit wala kang Iphone5, Ipad, are you still going to praise God? Are you still going to trust Him?” Then bulong ni Ate Joanne, “BB..”. I said to myself, “YES…”. I didn’t regret I forced myself to attend the service. But still then, my great comforter is God. Pastor Sonny said that “May purpose palagi kung bakit hindi natin naiintidihan ang mga bagay bagay sa buhay natin…”

From all that happened I still find peace and comfort in God alone. Although it was still fresh God renews my strength from whatever circumstances that may come along in my life. I know its just a Blackberry Torch 9860 and God can still give me something new. But I am not hoping for another new expensive phone again. God is so awesome and I just praise God for I still got my EVERYTHING 🙂 With the matter of forgiveness, I still find it hard to forgive but God has reminded me of what Jesus did on the cross.

Last night the song lyrics goes this way: “And I will love you all my life, for you are my reason, the one that I live for….” When the lyrics sang the first stanza “And I will love you ….” I felt God is telling me that He will still love me even I lost the phone, that He can still manage everything. And I redirected my thoughts towards God. I just love the God I serve. This morning, my dad reassured me that life is more important than things, so I should not worry. God has blessed me with very loving and supportive parents..

and I just want to share the word of God here: from Isaiah 55

55 “Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.
² Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and you will delight in the richest of fare.
³ Give ear and come to me;
listen, that you may live.
I will make an everlasting covenant with you,
my faithful love promised to David.
⁴ See, I have made him a witness to the peoples,
a ruler and commander of the peoples.
⁵ Surely you will summon nations you know not,
and nations you do not know will come running to you,
because of the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel,
for he has endowed you with splendor.”

⁶ Seek the Lord while he may be found;
call on him while he is near.
⁷ Let the wicked forsake their ways
and the unrighteous their thoughts.
Let them turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on them,
and to our God, for he will freely pardon.

⁸ “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
⁹ “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
¹⁰ As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
¹¹ so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
¹² You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.
¹³ Instead of the thornbush will grow the juniper,
and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the Lord’s renown,
for an everlasting sign,
that will endure forever.”

I cannot limit the UNLIMITED God 🙂 He can still do something bigger in my life and I am very much expectant with that! 🙂

Thank you for dropping by 😀 Hope you don’t mind my grammar isn’t really good because I’m not really an english writer 🙂