I didn’t get to blow my birthday cake

Turning 27 this year is just surreal. I can’t believe I’m already that old. It seems my age stops at 25. Anyway, my birthdays has never been extraordinary. It was just the same ordinary usual day for me. Life can be pretty complicated but I’ll end this blog with a redeemable events of story.

A part of me just felt excitement when I was waiting for 12 midnight. “I am turning 27!!!!” I said excitedly. I don’t know why. So, of course before I got to sleep, I whispered a little short prayer to God, “Thank You, Lord.”

My family greeted me with a simple “Happy birthday” and I responded with a “Thank you”. It is enough for me. But this time, I didn’t get to blow my candle because we didn’t celebrate it. I had a very busy duty at the hospital, overtime for two hours. It rained so heavily. Glad that my brother was near that place I get to go home at least. A simple dinner with siblings at Uncle Moe’s and a dessert at Lawson. Glad to spend it with them. To be honest, I am financially broke. As much as I wanted to celebrate my birthday with few true people in my life, MONEY HAS BEEN AN ISSUE. But I still have few here in my wallet so I had to treat my siblings at least.

Well, the highlight of the night, I received a call from my Dad. Where we did not have any communications ever since some unexpected events arose since this year started. But I really thank God from letting me hear his voice and letting me know that my father still cares for us.

I may not have blow a candle on my birthday but the glimpse of disguised blessings where my family can be save from unruly heartbreaks is enough for me to know that I still have such treasures.

I thank the Lord for the people He brought into my life. People who chose to stay despite of all the things that happened. True friends who rather accept my flaws than see the aching pretentious smile. Thank You, Lord for anoher year. I am expectant and excited to what lies ahead of me.

It is all about trust

I grew up earning people’s trust. Not because I did something wrong. Maybe because my mind is preoccupied by my assumptions. Which technically, shouldn’t be that way. I grew up becoming a worrier from health issues down to finances. As a graduate in a medical field with enough knowledge, with just simple cough and colds, Sometimes I over react and assumed that it may go to tuberculosis! Hilarious isn’t it? (But tell me nurses, you were also that O.A) Anyway this blog will go about how I overcome from being a worrier.

I learned the hard way. Honestly, it wasn’t the most exciting lesson. But my character and personality was build. Trust means letting go and waiting. It takes a lot of patience to earn their trust. It took me years to let them trust me or trust them. I didn’t force them anymore. I did my part and I stopped.

I love my family most especially my siblings. I’ve been their guardian for more than five years since my parents work abroad. I’ve witnessed their growth, their ups and downs, their issues in life and their health concerns. When my siblings get sick, I really get panic or anxious! Literally get crazy! Then Here comes the financial problems, since I was just a student back then, I don’t know where to get instant money. I don’t know how to pay the bills back then. And all of that has been running through my mind. I know you all know that problems or conflicts are really part of life.

My story doesn’t end there. The trust issues begins when the conflict rises. I prayed so hard, I wept and wept till God heard me. I didn’t give up and He doesn’t ignore me. I trusted God from finance to healing. I know that my God saves and provides. It took me years to remove that fears and becoming a worrier. He restored me by assuring me through His word.

“7 “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you; I do not give it to you as the world does. Do not let your hearts be distressed or lacking in courage” John 14:27

It still took me years to overcome the fears. It wasn’t easy. I lost friends because of my insecurities and misassumptions. But again since I put my trust to God and He has always been my refuge, He saved my relationships.

“And God is able to make all grace overflow to you so that because you have enough of everything in every way at all times, you will overflow in every good work.” 2 Corinthians 9:8

His grace made it all possible for me to earn their trust again and for me to put trust on people. .it wasn’t easy. I was scared on building new relationships but God assured me that He will move and work in their lives. I cannot but He can. Its all up to God if this relationship will stay or not. But God knows my heart’s desire. I know He will not let any enemy destroy my relationships. He holds everything. And even my relationships belongs to Him and I know as much as He loves me, He also loves the people close to my heart. ❤️ I hope that let’s not allow the enemy to rule over our mind and conquer over our thoughts. I hope that this article would be a great help of to whom we should really put our trust and that is in Jesus Christ.

Heart at Rest

Here I am, walking along these streets. Giving myself a “spa massage” (metaphoricaly). From lies, joys and blue moments I tried to keep myself fair and just for the sake of holding into something which I dearly love. But it’s not giving me joy anymore, it has become “obligation” instead. Its almost 6:30 pm and I want to flashback all the memories I had with the people who helped me become someone better.

Last night, with new friends, I had a divine appointment. You see, I’m a Christian, not only by title but also in relational concept. I have a relationship with Jesus. My season is always WAITING. In any aspect, WAITING has been my season. But I believe that part of my waiting is also “preparation”. God is helping me to be prepared in whatever may come my way. Nature, his beautiful creation, tells me that I am worth it, I am deserving, I am valued, I am loved, I am beautiful through the winds, trees, clear skies and cheerful strangers.

God is someOne who loves surprises. One thing that really made my last nights bonding was “Seek God first. He is preparing something best for you. You don’t have it now, maybe because God is still preparing and molding you to handle some things.” Which I agreed to. I just listened to them. Nodded. And felt their testimonies in their lives. But little did I know, for a minute, God is the One speaking to me through them. I am deeply blessed that I didn’t say no (which at first I felt scared because I don’t even know them). Although I knew it already, it becomes a redundant reminder to me which I neglect to embrace it. But its all about wisdom, sensitivity and trust in God.

Gusto ko umiyak kagabi, empathize with them and tell them how blessed I am hearing their changed lives. Their humble heart encouraged me to push through. Just keep doing what glorifies God. Let go of the things that hinders me from growing. And from then on, it gave me strength, confidence and assurance that I should really get out from my box.

And 1 Peter 3:3-4
“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment,such as braided hair and thewearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a GENTLE and QUIET SPIRIT.”

The gentle, quiet spirit. TRUST. FAITH. HOPE. Yes, we need these in order to be strong. We need these to be prepared. We need these to have the consistent assurance that God knows best. Hearts at rest.

His love letter

February 18, 2014
Usually, baking, laundry, cooking, cleaning are my agendas for rest days. But this day is different. I spent time surfing the net, see newsfeeds at Facebook, watch a movie, and think. When I had finished them all, I stopped for a moment. I rested in our living room sofa in an inconvenient position, I began thinking, played a gospel music, closed my eyes, embraced the precious living Book, and started crying…. SomeOne Whose close in my heart become a ‘choice’. Someone who assured me many times that He loves me has become a stranger. From that moment I was reminded of the box office movie, STARTING OVER AGAIN, with a new beginning…. Tears started flowing through my cheeks, here I am commits myself to start over again with the One who loved me first, and here’s His letter to me….

My dearest daughter,
I know It seems I was silent for the past weeks, but I never stopped pursuing you . You may not have recognize the love and faith I have for you but there are just too many things going on your mind, I can’t squeeze in myself. You have tried to put me first but you intended to do what you LIKE. But don’t worry my daughter, my princess, no matter how stubborn you are, I still LOVE you, I really do, not in a different way, but with the SAME love I have showed you 2000 years ago. My darling, do not be condemn by what the world says to you, do not be discourage by their judgements thrown at you, always remember that I have overcome the world. Regarding with your plans, sweetheart, be patient, WAIT patiently my love. Everything is already planned, orchestrated and designed the way I wanted. Your ways are not my ways, your thoughts are not my thoughts . I am proud that you have plans for yourself, for your future, career, which you have presented everything to me… I am honored that you have acknowledged every detail of your desires before me. I really AM my princess, but just do not fret, I have arrange accordingly each into my timeframe. Just be in faith, in every area of your life, have faith in Me. TRUST Me. Here we go my Darling, just always remember, I will always walk with you each day of your life, I love you unconditionally! And I am always 24/7 available, just hoping you have time for Me.

Lovingly yours,
Your Heavenly Father

A warmth welcome to 2013

Last year, my siblings and I went to Mall of Asia to celebrate New Year’s eve. A free watch of fireworks near Manila Bay was all worth it. Now that God has answered our prayers for a family car, we have considered to go to Mall of Asia again for the coming of 2013. People are everywhere, car parking was full and fancy restaurants are all loaded, if not loaded it’s close. Nevertheless,  since we have a long wait we found the Chowking open so we bought our dinner even in a long line.

My siblings and I ate inside the car and we had our cute small conversation with each other while eating. Then I asked them “what was your best moment for the year 2012?” My brother said, “When I was given a chance to study.” while my sister in return, “When we were complete family..” Then I hastily said “No copy paste!” then my youngest brother quickly said, “When God answered our prayer to have a car.”  I finally included mine, “When I graduated and passed my NLE board exam… then I had a work..” Then we proceeded on munching our food, suddenly my youngest brother asked us, “What was your worst moment but saw God’s hands at work?” My brother shared his, “My P.E subject was fixed.” Then my sister said, “Its a bit a long story but its kind of a friend-lover rivalry… and I was involve but thank God, it was fix!” Then I remembered mine, “When I was a private duty nurse… you know the story!” My youngest brother can’t remember his but God is always at work. Every time I see their faith, I always reflect on mine too. I often judge them by how they respond on things and how they act on each circumstances but God is so faithful to consider our faith and be so loving every day.

I admit I have a strong foundation because I came from a solid ground and that is through my family. I thank God for giving them to me. 2012 has been great! I will never forget the year where God has almost answered and heard my faith goals! He has been so faithful to me and my family. From none to abundance, and vice versa. Whatever our status we still hold on to our faith. Since 2011 I started this thanksgiving corporate prayer before the clock hits 12:00 mid night every year with my siblings. It feels great to run out of time because of many things to thank for.

After the thanksgiving prayer, the media hosted the event started a 5 minutes warm up  fireworks. So we decided to go and look for a perfect spot to enjoy it. After the 5 minutes fireworks, my siblings and I bought Mint Choco Chip ice cream! My favorite! 🙂

The countdown starts at 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, then I whispered a thankful prayer to God.. 2, 1 – Happy New Year! Welcome 2013!!! We took a picture under the fireworks and wishing mom and dad is also with us… Still praise God! 🙂

Then we immediately went inside the car, people started walking, driving their car, getting their pictures and finds their way home. The road was so free, even the expressway tollgate! Happy! HAHA.

I am more expectant of God than on what He is about to do with my life this year. To Set apart this year for Him only. 

Welcome 2013! thank You Lord for 2012 🙂

May we never fail to see God’s hand in every circumstances we have. May it seem so good and bad, God is always at work. Remember that He always loves us. God bless you all!

Joshua 3:5 “Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things among you.”

Psalm 48:14 “For this God is our God for ever and ever; he will be our guide even to the end.”

Merry CHRISTmas everyone!!!

Don’t forget the main reason why there’s this such beautiful season- JESUS. Thank God for everything. Even it seems so painful, God has reasons for it. Remember that you are loved by the King of kings, the OWNER of everything. Enjoy the time you spend with your family, with food or no food, your AVAILABILITY is even appreciated.