The Unwanted pregnancy

New Year’s eve has ended in a split second. Here we are entering to a new day in the remaining 365 days. Year 2017 has been a productive and silent year. There were things to finalize resignation letters, say goodbye to a friend, cut some ties with some unworthy relationships, given birth, mourn with a friend who loss a loved one and gain pounds in a year round.

Last week I encountered an unexpected scenario from an innocent face of a 16 years old. Please take note that what I am about to share is only for sharing purposes but the identities will remain confidential and private. I was in my night shift aura when a 16 years old came in per ambulatory accompanied by a relative with a complain of abdominal and flank pain. The first aid was given and doctor did history taking. Last menstrual period was always included in the history, the doctor asked the student if she had sexual contact and if she can remember her LMP. Gladly, she honestly and consciously answered the question in front of her relative but the LMP was still mysteriously unknown due to her irregular menstrual period. When she felt the urge to urinate she had to go to the bathroom for urinalysis until I noticed she’s been inside the comfort room for more than 10 minutes. Unknowingly, this young lady had been pregnant for more or less 5 months. She genuinely asnwered the doctor “I do not know”.

I assisted this lady more than treating her a patient. While doing the evacuation of the abortus and placenta by our resident physician, she hardly gripped my hand and pushed out the breathless creature that was created inside her womb. Unknowingly, she goes to school and a life has just been created. She laughs and drinks with her friends unaware that she has become a mom. It must have been hard for her. I honestly empathize this young lady and spoke words that may uplift her spirit.

“Everything happens for a purpose”. We may never know the reason but ultimately, there is a purpose. A purpose on which maybe we can never accept or a surprise that might giggle our feet to dance as we expectantly wait for it. There must be a reason why my 2017 has been a productive and silent year. It took me months only to realize that God is teaching me to PRIORITIZE the important areas in life. Just like the 16 year old lady who without her knowledge pregnant is the same with the event turn around in my life. I never wanted to cut ties with old friends, I am not into becoming “career woman” because I AM NOT. I also do not want to limit my time whenever I am out with my friends just because I needed to sleep early so I could regain my strength for work. I am not that woman who would regularly decrease my time with people close to my heart. However, things change for a purpose. God allows this to happen so that we could appreciate the real ones and even the small things in life. The young lady did not know that she was pregnant and continous with her routine everyday. A delicate living thing inside her and now its gone. People come and go, and from that moment, I know there are friends who are worth to share all my resentments, bitterness and madness in the world and its up to them if they will depart from me.

The unwanted pregnancy is also the same with “I would like to resign but I still need this” and also, “I am hurting but I still love him”. Nonsense right? But when we are lost, we will find the value behind all these unreasonable circumstances. And from that, I hope we find ourselves to the One who bestow us a life.

 

Forgiveness is a gift

I’ve been thinking lately that somehow I felt used by some so-called “friends”. Friends who said they would stay. Friends who used to call you when they have problems and make you feel special because they tell you their darkest secrets. Friends who would text you, “Where are you?” but to my unresponsive instinct they will favorably unconsider your presence because you’ll find out that they’re with their “other” friends already.

You see, I do not have that “bunch of friends” that would stick through thick and thin but I have “few” friends who would gear up and listen attentively to all my whining unreasonable assumptions based from my own judgmental thoughts. Those were just few. Where are the others? Ayun, masayang nalilimutan ako at hinaharap ang kasalukuyan kahit wala ang presensiya ko. To be honest, I am mad. They didn’t even dare to ask how I was doing? And they would just forget all the fun memories that we had. But I won’t let my emotions, this emotion, to prevail!

“Forgiveness is a gift” my resident doctor repeatedly shared as I tell some of my insights in life. I had to go through acceptance before I go to the finished line. I had to accept that fact that these friends of mine will not call me because they are happy (which is good!) even without me. Well, I am just saying that those were the days and I am on my season of expanding my horizon and contentedly accept the fact that this is how my life goes on.

How I received forgiveness? By a genuine encounter with Christ and not with people. I saw how I can be selfish at ALL times and I look at people how they move in the pace of life selfishly. I am always reminded by the FACT that PEOPLE WILL FAIL US but God will never do the same. As I have laid my foundation to the Rock of my salvation He let me see through my whole being by giving me the full access of sonship in His Kingdom. He convinced me my true identity, worth and value. Whenever I get reminded by that I was always put in the position of surrender. Because of that I will always be forever grateful that even I only have “few” people to trust and treasure, I know that in Him I will always find security and peace.

And you asked if I have forgiven them? 100% YES. friendship are not meant to depend on each other. Sometimes there are seasons. A change of heart either to stay or let go. A friendship worth your time and sometimes an immediate action of letting go. Wherever they are, I AM HAPPY FOR THEM. As long as I live, my time, effort, and heart will be available to them but don’t abused me, I’ll know if you are using me to fill that reserved chair which apparently not meant for me. So help me God.

So, forgiveness is a gift. It is either you accept it or not.

 

Starting Over Again

Definitely this movie turned our stomachs up and down, freeze our jaws from laughing and swell our eyes from crying. But eventually at the end of the movie, the one goal remains- The End. No matter what the ending is, you cannot change the END. It was already planned, setup, expected and prepared. Watching this movie didn’t give me a heartbreak, but rather agreed to the whole story or main point.

(Just for the sake of some who haven’t watch this great movie, I won’t spoil the story…) *evil laugh

Ginny, left Marco with no reasons…. Why? That’s for you to find out! Sorry. When she came back, she tries to win Marco, AGAIN.
Here are some lessons I got and that made me say “COME ON!” “That’s right” “True”….

1. Never EVER, and I mean it! EVER… END the relationship without any REASONS or EXPLANATIONS.

Everything has its own reason. Every questions has its answers. Leaving someone you dearly love because of FEAR is not LOVE at all.
Marco- “I deserve an explanation, I deserve an acceptable reason…” –
“In love there is no fear”

2. Leave with CLOSURE and make things CLEAR.

-Ask if you may, ASK if you are READY, ASK if you are confuse, ASK if you want some answers… Remember you have the right to ask!
No matter what the response is and will be, it shouldn’t bother but rather Gives you peace.
“Ang hindi ko lang alam, kung Bakit? Kelan nagsimula? Anong nangyari sating dalawa? But today, I resolved to stop bothering you…”
“May dahilan kung bakit tayo nagkita” Yes, there is! watch the movie so you could know!

3. PSP “Past is Past”

Philippians 3:13 “Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,”
Let go what you should let go. Stop revolving your world to one subject. Its a big world out there! Go out, learn, EXPLORE! Something better is on hand if you let it …..

4. Never let one thing that will stir your heart to give in to temptation..

I’m sure Marco did know that Ginny might come back and agree to work with him. And I am sure that Marco did know that there might be some instances that they will spend some “alone” together. at first it was for businesses sake, then Ginny’s “assumptions” put her to hurt herself. Marco tried “iwasan ” her, but same Ginny as she was, aggressive and desperate, everything turned to ugly side of the story. Do not rekindle the past if you think it will hurt you. Erase the memories, delete the messages, but learn from it.
Temptation is always there. But it is your CHOICE to RUN away from it!

5. Ladies, never be so AGGRESSIVE and DESPERATE

If you feel something for that guy, KEEP IT, let the men confess it, let them do their part!
“Stop assuming, unless the man stated his intentions. ”
Ginny, boldly confessed her feelings to Marco in front of many people. She did her part too VOCAL AND EXPRESSIVE. We are not designed that way, Its men part to boldly confess their intentions to us.

6. Pride will not make your relationship work, humility does…

Ginny became prideful of what she sees on how Marco becomes. She kept what she thinks on who Marco is to become. Pride destroys everything. Remember that Ginny was vocal and expressive? This time she stopped that kind of attitude, she feared to share her thoughts and feelings to Marco. Accept the person you love, be open, misunderstanding and conflicts will not run out in a relationship. But acceptance and humility should always be part of both parties.

7. Friends has a big part in your life. Treasure them!
We have two different kinds of friends Pro and Anti 🙂 Pro because they just want to indulge you to fantasy or Anti because they know what’s the truth and they want to be honest with you.
“kaibigan kita! and I refuse to watch you kill yourself”
“Nakalaklak ka nanaman ng pagasa, subukan mo kaya lumaklak ng REALIDAD..”
“Working with your Ex is complicated!”
They tell us the reality. They share what they feel. Its either they let you enjoy the fantasy or bring you to reality.

8. BE FORGIVEFUL
Common saying is “to forgive is to forget”. How I love in this movie is it shows how to accept ones mistake, how to forgive with LOVE…. You cannot forgive someone if you still have BITTERNESS in your heart. Ginny became to desperate when she really want Marco back in her life badly. That brought Marco to choose between Patty and Ginny. This is the line that made me amazed how BRAVE AND COURAGEOUS MARCO was…
Ginny: So tulungan mo naman ako ngayon, how do I UNLOVE you?
Marco honestly replied: I really don’t know.. But what I know is I cannot UNLOVE you, I’ll just LOVE YOU BUT IN A DIFFERENT WAY….
That courage! That STRAIGHT-forward answer! harsh but honest! Painful? Yes, but gave both of them PEACE that they needed!

No matter how RIGHT you feel for that person, no matter how HIGH level of infatuation you have for that someone you dearly love, if the timing is WRONG, then its still WRONG. People come and go. We either let them in or go. Accept the mistakes or just keep it. Learn or fail. Be wise or waste it . Either ways, there’s always something better that comes to our lives. Its a matter of how WISE in making the decision. You need courage to confront the reality, confidence to accept the truth. I recommend this movie to all the singles, the beginning and the end has something to take home….

Not a heartbeaking story… REALITY ROMANTIC MOVIES HAS FINALLY COME TO SENSES…. FINALLY! Cheers to Star Cinema production and to the whole team of Starting Over Again.

p.s some lines stated above are not exact so pardon me. 🙂