Even when it hurts

We get to a road of life where there are stumbling blocks and hindrances. Sometimes we overanalyze the situation presented to us. Sometimes we robotically accept and deny certain things which makes us feel either good or bad.

I’ve gone through tough times. Who doesn’t? Life can be unfair and overwhelmingly good. But at the top of it, we do not control certatin circumstances. We are after the outcome of our decisions and choices but maybe – sometimes the sun and moon doesn’t agree with our final says.

I am currently hurting and trying to look at things in a positive way. Just like fresh from breakup is what I’m feeling today. It has been a year since I broke up with my former boyfriend but I guess there are some issues still need to deal with.

Two weeks ago, as I grew tired of patiently waiting to reconcile the so called friendship, I decided to STOP and LET GOD. Yesterday was worst. I saw this coming even when it hurts I have to live my life as normal as I can. It has never been easy. I learned that between the two lovers, whoever had come up with the decision of “break up” it will always be a different pace on the other party involve.

I was already in the stage of moving on till yesterday happened. I guess people will always find it difficult to see since I have imprinted of who I am to them. But no matter what, I have finally making the decision of letting go, for his happiness sake and to let him know that I respect him. I hope one day, he’ll see that too.

Even when it hurts, I will still continue this life because I know there is a purpose. Even when it hurts I tried my best to pray and claim God’s promises and my identity to Him. Even when it hurts I will continue to seek God’s will over my life and not on the peoples opinions.

Despite of what is happening today, I know that God will redeem us in better situation. I know that He is still in control.

I declare peace, love, joy and forgiveness be upon the people involve in my situation. In Jesus’ name, Amen

High Standards

I am the eldest in the family among four siblings. I am surrounded by older people with old fashioned knowledge. I always love to ask for counsel whenever I get confuse or can’t make up my mind. I go to them and ask for their help and guide. Eventually growing up, leaders I’ve encountered adapted the common reminder “Do not settle for less.” And so I made my standards on my own.

I am not going to deny that my standards were so high, that it came to the point I announce them publicly. Just last night I have realized the point why you have to keep your standards high. Here are some few reasons why you, ladies, have to keep it high:

1. First and foremost- You DESERVE THE BEST. Just like the same reminder I mentioned above, “DO NOT EVER SETTLE FOR LESS.”
2. It keeps me on track. Whenever I am on a tempting situation, like you’ll meet some man who is so close to the qualities you’ve listed, I’ll always go back to my journal and be reminded of them.
3. It protects me. It protects me from giving in to something that I don’t deserve and from desperation.

Those were just some of the few reasons why you have to keep your standards high. But don’t let your standards/ qualities be the main focus. Seek God and let Him lead you to the specific qualities you have to pray for. Actually, our standards may change, and eventually God will still bring that someone who can’t meet your standard. He’ll just touch your heart and be prepared for some reason. Just list down the qualities and lay it all down before God. But don’t let it preoccupy you. The most satisfying relationship is still with Jesus, no one else and no other name. Believe me, I know!

Abba Father

“how great is your love for me
that you gave up your son for me
now i am alive and free
father i love you
father i love you

your love made a way for me
into me you see
you love every part of me
father you love me
father you love me

oh, the love of my father
is deeper than any love i know
oh, the grace that he shows me
his love overwhelming
this i know
the love of my father
the love of my father
the love of my father
the love of my father

abba father
your love is never-ending
there’s no other love like yours
in your presence
my heart is overflowing
father i am yours”

This song drives me to worship God. Not only because I love the rhythm and music itself but rather, the lyrics describes the perfect personality of the Almighty God. While listening to this song, I stood up and put my feet to dance. Such an awesome time with the One.

I have resolved to surrender everything to God. That before anything else, He should always be my FIRST. I should always seek His wisdom. Hear His still small voice. Obey what He says. Response like Jesus and most espescially to love even certain circumstances are unloving just like what Jesus did.

Each day has its different story, either fun-filled or blue day. But whatever the situation is, I must always decrease. It is not about me. The glory does not belong to me. Its not about the person who will receive or hear your response. But rather it is for Jesus’ glory. Less of me and more of Him. It is really funny that we get tired of our repititive unresolved problems but what’s funnier is that at the end of it, sorrow turns to joy because we learned that each problems has its own solutions.

What we usually do when we are in trouble we sometimes kneel down,put our hands together, wipe the tears from our eyes, go to some quiet place, scream out loud what’s holding you inside and reflect. These are just some ways how we contemplate our complicated life. Life is pretty boring without challenges. We may get tired but I believe that God won’t give us situations that we cannot handle. He believes in us and He hopes that we also believe in His mighty power.

I am just in awe how He surprisingly meet all of my needs in an inexplicable ways. I just can’t contain the joy He gave me. This joy is just really an overflow of His everlasting love for me. And I am forever grateful for His grace and trusting me with His treasures here on earth. ❤️

True that it is all about Jesus. My desire for this year not only to have a deeper relationship with Jesus but also respond with love and peace just like Jesus. 💕

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. “John 14:27

“to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; “Isaiah 61:2

“and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility. “Ephesians 2:16

Cleared water

Its New Year, 2015, how fast can it be? Its been a long time since I blogged. A lot of things changed. Some things were added and lost. Can’t describe how grateful I am to enjoy and taste the bittersweet moments of my 2014. God has been really faithful and awesome. His grace made me to the final day of 2014. It was really all about Him.

I would like to share my top 10 highlights of my 2014:

1. I resigned from my previous work – I had my blog about it regarding how thankful and pleased I was to be with great mentors/seniors. And it took me a year to let go of them before I said goodbye.

2. Had a short experience at Operating Room as a volunteer nurse– before I resigned, I desired to be rotated to other area for the sake of “experience” since I have plans of leaving already. Thank God! I was able to enjoy few major cases.

3. I learned how to bake! – cookies are my favorite! Tested and tried from an oven toaster, my cookies are always sold out! My siblings loved them…

4. Got new friends– absolutely to be treasured for a lifetime! Young? Yes! But everytime I’m with them, I always learn and laughter never ends by their superb humors! Oh! Boys!

5. Answered prayer: iPhone! Woohooo! Said goodbye to Blackberry, and now I’m an Apple user!

6. Took some risk from job hunting– tried to pass my resumès to the nearest hospital here at our place. Able to be interviewed and took their exam. Unfortunately, didn’t get any call from them anymore…. But its alright, because of that, I wouldn’t experience …. The number

7. I was hired as an information clerk at San Pedro Doctor’s Hospital– part time job while I was an OR volunteer nurse. Praise God for provision and preparation. Learned how to give calls and accounts to the recipients.

8. When I resigned at SPDH, I was hired as a company nurse at Cardinal Santos Medical Center for assigned at Meralco Sucat/Alabang sector– answered prayer again! 3 months trainee, was evaluated then another 6 months under probationary. At least with salary and light duties. I also saw the real big difference from being a company nurse to hospital staff nurse.

9. God heard my heart’s desire– A man courageously laid down his interests on me last year on July 29’th 2014 outside Starbucks. Then as we agreed to put label on our relationship, God has given me additional blessing “LOVELIFE” on August 31st 2014 ❤️

10. New Year’s Eve– My siblings and I got a chance of spending our New Year’s eve with my boyfriend’s family place. Great evening with laughter and a movie night! So blessed to have spent the New Year with them.

Ready to enjoy what God has planned for this year. So there you go! My highlights for 2014. Looking forward to my 2015 be exciting and full of love. How about yours? What are your top 10 highlights of 2014? 😁

Thoughts 103

Here’s the continuations of my random thoughts. As I promised from my previous blog, I shared it there regarding the song “I won’t say I’m in love” from the Hercules Disney movie. Now, I just want to elaborate further why its lyrics caught my attention. Here’s the full lyrics.

I won’t say I’m in love

If there’s a prize for rotten judgment
I guess, I’ve already won that
No man is worth the aggravation
That’s ancient history, been there, done that

Who do you think you’re kiddin’?
He’s the earth and heaven to you
Try to keep it hidden

Honey, we can see right through you
Girl, you can’t conceal it
We know how you feel and
Who you’re thinking of?

No chance, no way
I won’t say it, no, no
You swoon, you sigh
Why deny it? Uh, oh

It’s too cliche
I won’t say I’m in love

I thought my heart had learned its lesson
It feels so good when you start out
My head is screaming, get a grip, girl
Unless you’re dying to cry your heart out, oh

You keep on denying
Who you are and how you’re feeling?
Baby, we’re not buying
Hon, we saw you hit the ceiling

Face it like a grown up
When you gonna own up
That you got, got, got it bad

No chance, no way
I won’t say it, no, no
Give up, give in
Check the grin you’re in love

This scene won’t play
I won’t say I’m in love
You’re doin’ flips read our lips
You’re in love

You’re way off base
I won’t say it
Get off my case
I won’t say it

Girl, don’t be proud
It’s okay, you’re in love
Ooh At least out loud
I won’t say I’m in love

Songwriters
BERT KALMAR, HARRY RUBY

The animated woman who portrayed the leading lady of Hercules has no guts of telling her true feelings for him. (Base on the lyrics) This simply shows that she has higher percentage of self control level which leads me to admiring her. I hope that ladies are also like her, (Though I know its just an animated movie) and it doesn’t even show the modern courtship there. Nowadays, women are very aggressive and they usually do the first move. Unfortunately, courting the men leads to heartbreak and shame issues. As a woman, I also felt like the urge of “wanting something so bad” but I learned that when we wait patiently its more rewarding than having something you want so bad instantly.

From that music video there are group of ladies teasing and whispering her that she’s in love. But the lady kept on pushing and teaching herself from not telling her true feelings for Hercules.

“No chance, no way
I won’t say it, no, no”

As I speak and remind this for myself as well, this is also my prayer to every ladies that you shouldn’t be on that fast forward or fast track. WAIT AND ENJOY the season you are in right now. Never ever tell your feelings to a man, or don’t make the first move and give him the hints that you like him. Let him do his job Sweetheart! Let him man up! So, if you feel you can’t control it anymore, look back and reread the two letters NO. So stay princess like.

DO NOT MAKE YOURSELF CHEAP BY YOUR UNCONTROLLED EMOTION FOR A GUY

“Bakit ayaw mo sakanya?”

I often hear these questions from my friends most of them from work. I have to admit that instead of to be in a commitment I’d rather still choose being single. Why? Well, some personal reasons. I think some of my closest friends can understand and knows the reasons behind. (Not sharing this to be proud) most of the men I encounter from my experience and friends are torpe and should I say incapable of meeting our needs. I’m not sure if this applies to all relationships but I’m sure women has their own presumptions on each circumstances.

I realize that when the woman doesn’t like the man, the courtship has no beginning. That’s why men should have courage to ASK first if the woman will allow him to court her. Men should not just effort without clearing up the intentions, women will go equivocally on the unstated-status. So men, please don’t just make us guess if your actions are already part of your “ligaw” , STATE it!

If the man stated his intentions then women should start PRAYING. Ask God’s guidance and direction, and of course to continuously guard both of your hearts. Anyway, in my own personal opinion, I discovered that even you don’t like the guy, if the effort speaks it all, AYAW mo parin, unless nakuha ni guy yung “kiliti” mo ( Sorry for the term) then maybe the lady will RE-considers it. Am I right ladies? I’m not sure if it applies to everyone but that’s what I’ve noticed eh. That’s why the prayer is vital. It should be a breath that you can’t live without. Mahirap na yung gagawa ka ng decision that you will regret in the end.

Here’s the common conversation I had with my friend

Her: Bakit ayaw mo sakanya?
Me: Eh! Basta! (straight forward answer)
Her: Bakit? Gwapo naman siya, may trabaho naman,
Me: hmmmmm, hindi mo ko maiintindihan, hehehe, Basta its a NO….
Her: You like someone else?
Me: No, its just that we cannot connect with each other, we’re just two different people and I can’t jive into his world. Though I get his love language, pero hindi talaga eh. Strong personality ko, eh siya? Medyo emotional te! (lol)
Her: Grabe, give him time…. Malay mo db?
Me: (talagang ipinipilit ni friend) Ahh, yeah, let’s see, but its a no, when I say no, let’s stay friends… 🙂 Ok na yun para hindi kumplikado. . .

And I ended our conversation with a smile. I just can’t try to fit in to someone else’s world when that person doesn’t want to get involve in my world. Its somehow complicated but the give and take is there, understanding and getting to know is present.

My cousins and aunts they usually get surprise and looks troubled when I answer them I’m still single. But it doesn’t bother me because I’m young, I will definitely meet my prince charming at God’s perfect time. Maskinikilig ako sa mga gagawin Niya for us in the future and that our love story is worth to tell. Kaya pag tinatanong ako kung bakit wala pa akong boyfriend, naiirita ako, not to the sense of I DON’T HAVE A BOYFRIEND but to them na “why? what’s wrong? I’m still young!”. But most of the time SMILE is my reply to their redundant question and “Darating din tayo jan…”

Happy and joyfully waiting….. 🙂

The Wedding

March 1, 2014 I was invited to my Mentors wedding. By the way, its my first time to attend a Christian garden wedding. First time to go in San Pablo, Laguna as well and first time to feel the joy when someone close to your heart walks down the aisle wearing her dream WHITE gown. Everything from that day was a first time. Like I said the wedding was a success, the program, food, and most especially the weather because it was cooperative, hot though, at least it didn’t rain. Anyway here are some of my captured moments before and during the wedding…. Hope you like it!

Casa San Pablo!

there’s this very creative hanged bottles along the bridge…

the beautiful place!

with the Groom and Bride’s intials!

feeling all the moments for this place!

this beautifully made entrance door of the bride! 🙂 So Vintage!

the set up place for the Bride and Groom wedding ceremony!

hanged pictures of them with LOVE ….

the Bride’s aisle! those petals were just beautiful!

and now, my leader, my mentor, there she is! stunning! Beautiful! with emotions….

indeed! Favored! no hints of raindrops….

the dinning set up!

the table set up!

the cupcakes made by the Groom!

the cake and the wine!

these flowers so lovely!

the story! Glad they included this piece of my creativity… so touch!

I’m a cupcake lover, I super love this shot!

there are wriiten. quotes on each tables

plus! the wedding was fun because of great people!

with my vintage outfit!

and lastly, with my bestfriends wackiness! proud of this lady, expecting great and wonderful years with her as friends ….

So there you go, my first time experience from a wedding 🙂 I hope one day I’ll be sharing mine as well… SOON …. 🙂 and all glory belongs to God! Great experience indeed, even I had separation anxiety from that place, because it was sooooooo beautiful! 🙂 My prayer for the couple is that may Jesus always be the center of their marriage 🙂

HOPE

Is there something you’ve been wanting for so long that until now you don’t have it? Perhaps career, food, spouse or children? We will not appreciate the WAITING if we are trying to get what we want instantly. Its a long process, like in pursuing you’re chosen career, you start from the basic, “create an impressive and comprehensive RESUME” and “APPLY” or maybe food, you buy the ingredients; spouse and children, it is a long process, MATAIMTIM na PRAYER yan, its a decision and it takes a huge step of being “READY” on that area. But what God wants for us? TRUST. We need to learn to PATIENTLY and CONFIDENTLY wait and hope for something we do not yet have. TRUST! It takes a lot of TRUST, while trusting God we WAIT for it… I believe God has something greater for all of us as long as we fix our eyes on Him Believe and be in faith ALWAYS…

TRUST

Romans 15:13 The complete trust in God will produce complete JOY in our life. Whatever emptiness you feel God is the Only One who can fill you. Good noon! TRUST God that He can reach and give whatever pleases Him.

Your love every morning….

photo taken by me 🙂 and venue near our place 🙂 edited by me too 🙂