It’s been three days since I decided to go out from social media specifically Facebook. Ang daming tumatakbo sa isipan ko for the past weeks. Sometimes I can’t sleep because of too many things running through my mind. Pumapasok ako sa trabaho minsan tulala at minsan nagiisip while doing my task. But within that three days, I grabbed it as an opportunity to talk and ask God’s revelation sa pinagdadaanan ko. I didn’t force my will to happen, I carefully waited and enjoyed the moments with the Lord. I thank God for being faithful and not leaving me in my craziest and wildest moments of my life. True that He never leaves nor forsake His children (Hebrews 13:5)
Within that span of three days or two and half days, no one knows my situation. Nobody dared to ask me how I was. I didn’t open up to people because I thought I might just give them additional burden. I waited patiently. Until first night, I cried it out loud to God, I was weeping and mourning. But He continuously assured me that I am loved by the most high. He designed me just as He desired it. Couldn’t let go of the pain I was going through. People close to my heart were all (at that time when I needed the most) busy but thankful because it helped me go to God. Sometimes we usually go to people to express our feelings knowingly someone better is waiting for us to share our deepest hurts and cries of our hearts.
Every night before I go to sleep wishing something miracle could happen, It just ended up a disappointment. Instead of doing the usual things, For the second time, I let it all out to God. I let Him move and listen to what He wants me to hear. After that evening, medyo nabawasan na yung bigat na nararamdaman ko. Nung nabawasan na, naisipan ko ng to share it with a friend and thankful she was available. And while spending time with her, something unexpected happen that made me smile for that day. Praising God with all my might to put back smile on my face. I thought its the end but God made me realize a lot of things. But of course the doubts and bitterness (honestly speaking) nandun parin yun, hindi naman agad agad mawawala kasi ang daming tanong na tumatakbo sa isipan ko kahit pa nangyari yung isang bagay na nakapagpangiti sakin. I’ve resolved to entrust everything to God because He knows best.
I learned the hard way. Painful but rewarding. I learned to appreciate the smallest and simplest things here on earth. I learned to wait patiently. I learned to avoid expectations and demands. I learned that communication and goals in life are still very important. Since I am a princess of God therefore I deserve the best. I learned that I should not be treated undeservingly. Ang dami kong narealize. And one more thing that made my three days out from social media is I learned to cling more to God even in the most difficult and painful part of my life. His grace indeed abounds to His children.
And God is able to make all grace overflow to you so that because you have enough of everything in every way at all times, you will overflow in every good work. 2 Corinthians 9:8
On Bended Knees 