The Unwanted pregnancy

New Year’s eve has ended in a split second. Here we are entering to a new day in the remaining 365 days. Year 2017 has been a productive and silent year. There were things to finalize resignation letters, say goodbye to a friend, cut some ties with some unworthy relationships, given birth, mourn with a friend who loss a loved one and gain pounds in a year round.

Last week I encountered an unexpected scenario from an innocent face of a 16 years old. Please take note that what I am about to share is only for sharing purposes but the identities will remain confidential and private. I was in my night shift aura when a 16 years old came in per ambulatory accompanied by a relative with a complain of abdominal and flank pain. The first aid was given and doctor did history taking. Last menstrual period was always included in the history, the doctor asked the student if she had sexual contact and if she can remember her LMP. Gladly, she honestly and consciously answered the question in front of her relative but the LMP was still mysteriously unknown due to her irregular menstrual period. When she felt the urge to urinate she had to go to the bathroom for urinalysis until I noticed she’s been inside the comfort room for more than 10 minutes. Unknowingly, this young lady had been pregnant for more or less 5 months. She genuinely asnwered the doctor “I do not know”.

I assisted this lady more than treating her a patient. While doing the evacuation of the abortus and placenta by our resident physician, she hardly gripped my hand and pushed out the breathless creature that was created inside her womb. Unknowingly, she goes to school and a life has just been created. She laughs and drinks with her friends unaware that she has become a mom. It must have been hard for her. I honestly empathize this young lady and spoke words that may uplift her spirit.

“Everything happens for a purpose”. We may never know the reason but ultimately, there is a purpose. A purpose on which maybe we can never accept or a surprise that might giggle our feet to dance as we expectantly wait for it. There must be a reason why my 2017 has been a productive and silent year. It took me months only to realize that God is teaching me to PRIORITIZE the important areas in life. Just like the 16 year old lady who without her knowledge pregnant is the same with the event turn around in my life. I never wanted to cut ties with old friends, I am not into becoming “career woman” because I AM NOT. I also do not want to limit my time whenever I am out with my friends just because I needed to sleep early so I could regain my strength for work. I am not that woman who would regularly decrease my time with people close to my heart. However, things change for a purpose. God allows this to happen so that we could appreciate the real ones and even the small things in life. The young lady did not know that she was pregnant and continous with her routine everyday. A delicate living thing inside her and now its gone. People come and go, and from that moment, I know there are friends who are worth to share all my resentments, bitterness and madness in the world and its up to them if they will depart from me.

The unwanted pregnancy is also the same with “I would like to resign but I still need this” and also, “I am hurting but I still love him”. Nonsense right? But when we are lost, we will find the value behind all these unreasonable circumstances. And from that, I hope we find ourselves to the One who bestow us a life.

 

Thank You for the LOVE

As the year ends, I did some time alone to recall the whole year. I admit that this year has been a challenge for me. Ang daming pagbabago sa sarili ko, I had to change my perspective in life, including principles and beliefs. Kinilala
ko rin sarili ko. My lifestyle changed as well but I can attest God’s faithfulness in my life. From tears to tears, moon and back, front to cover, God showed me His power over my life. Not my plan, but His will to be done.
People come and go as they say. People enter in your life and then suddenly leave with invalid reasons or unexplainable circumstances. Sometimes they leave because that’s the only best choice to express their love for you. I had the most unforgettable events this year, I learned and discovered that I am a “land person” when I started mountain climbing. I finally learned that my top 2 love language are words of affirmation and time. Ang dami ko pang kailangan idiscover sa sarili ko,I just have to continue to get out from my comfort zone.

During the leaders group Christmas party, we had this activity of back tracking the year’s highlights. I got the chance to scan and review my posts from Facebook and Instagram even the tweets from Twitter. I found myself in awe and tears how God has been really gracious to me. I couldn’t be here without God’s unconditional love, I don’t wanna sound Holy or religious but this is just the truth. God has been really faithful in my life.

I thought I couldn’t get up but He made me realized that He won’t put me in a situation if I cannot handle it. Kaya nasabi ko rin, “Siguro, nakita rin ni God na strong ako. Kaya He allowed these to happen.” For the first three months I kept on thinking “What did I do to deserve this?” “Why did this even happen to me? Of all people, why me?” I know I do not have the right to ask God my “Why’s” because who am I to ask the King of kings and the Lord of lords. It’s a shame for me to ask, but I just came to Him with open arms and humility in my heart. God hasn’t really answered it exactly, (and I stopped asking)He doesn’t have to but right now, I see the BIGGER picture. It is about the obedience, leaning on to Him even it means of letting go of the things or people in life. At the end of the day it will always and should be ABOUT HIM.

Through obedience I saw God graciously move in our midst. He restores what was lost. He gives us hope and makes us realize that above all things He is in control. I am now in tears as I type this, maybe not with what I hoped but the God I serve is the God of restoration. People may see me broken or “bitter”, they may even tag my past a joke but what makes me stand firm is that God will always be behind my story because He is the author of my life. I won’t mind what they will say or even how they insult me. Fixing my eyes on Jesus. 😁

Many times when I get back from step one, “denial” then end my day with “acceptance” which only depicts that life can be so much fun and complicated at the same time. It also shows that we are limited, mapapagod ka rin. Iba si God magsulat, talagang unpredictable and exciting. Either you’ll cry or laugh. How do I describe 2015? RAIN. Isa pa na nadiscover ko sa sarili ko, I am now a pluviophile. Rain, not only it gives you a bed weather or a gloomy feeling but there is something about the rain that makes you feel happy and in love. I don’t know but that will best describe my 2015. I am expectant to what is ahead of me, lalo na sa 2016. Well I am always expectant to New Year’s naman. I remember 2015 countdown, sabi ko kay God, “ Excited ako Lord.” Of course, sa buhay hindi mawawala ang drama but as much as possible iniiwasan ko yan, sayang lang ang luha, kung alam ko naman matatapos din ang drama. Unfortunately, things don’t come the way we plan it but definitely there is always a solution with every challenges.

God picked me up again and embraced me for the nth time. I never felt secured, alive and more assured in His presence. He showed me that in every situation that I am out of control, He is in control. That I am limited and He is limitless. He wants me decrease and Him increase in my life. He wants ME and Yes, I am His.

I am ending my 2015 with a joy in my heart. I am welcoming 2016 with open arms and welcoming 2015 to my 2016. Yes, not a goodbye but hello again! Thank you for being part of my 2015 and looking forward you on my 2016.

Ps. Thank you for a fun-filled 2015

(Sorry na, sorry na sa wrong grammars ko. Haha)

Cleared water

Its New Year, 2015, how fast can it be? Its been a long time since I blogged. A lot of things changed. Some things were added and lost. Can’t describe how grateful I am to enjoy and taste the bittersweet moments of my 2014. God has been really faithful and awesome. His grace made me to the final day of 2014. It was really all about Him.

I would like to share my top 10 highlights of my 2014:

1. I resigned from my previous work – I had my blog about it regarding how thankful and pleased I was to be with great mentors/seniors. And it took me a year to let go of them before I said goodbye.

2. Had a short experience at Operating Room as a volunteer nurse– before I resigned, I desired to be rotated to other area for the sake of “experience” since I have plans of leaving already. Thank God! I was able to enjoy few major cases.

3. I learned how to bake! – cookies are my favorite! Tested and tried from an oven toaster, my cookies are always sold out! My siblings loved them…

4. Got new friends– absolutely to be treasured for a lifetime! Young? Yes! But everytime I’m with them, I always learn and laughter never ends by their superb humors! Oh! Boys!

5. Answered prayer: iPhone! Woohooo! Said goodbye to Blackberry, and now I’m an Apple user!

6. Took some risk from job hunting– tried to pass my resumès to the nearest hospital here at our place. Able to be interviewed and took their exam. Unfortunately, didn’t get any call from them anymore…. But its alright, because of that, I wouldn’t experience …. The number

7. I was hired as an information clerk at San Pedro Doctor’s Hospital– part time job while I was an OR volunteer nurse. Praise God for provision and preparation. Learned how to give calls and accounts to the recipients.

8. When I resigned at SPDH, I was hired as a company nurse at Cardinal Santos Medical Center for assigned at Meralco Sucat/Alabang sector– answered prayer again! 3 months trainee, was evaluated then another 6 months under probationary. At least with salary and light duties. I also saw the real big difference from being a company nurse to hospital staff nurse.

9. God heard my heart’s desire– A man courageously laid down his interests on me last year on July 29’th 2014 outside Starbucks. Then as we agreed to put label on our relationship, God has given me additional blessing “LOVELIFE” on August 31st 2014 ❤️

10. New Year’s Eve– My siblings and I got a chance of spending our New Year’s eve with my boyfriend’s family place. Great evening with laughter and a movie night! So blessed to have spent the New Year with them.

Ready to enjoy what God has planned for this year. So there you go! My highlights for 2014. Looking forward to my 2015 be exciting and full of love. How about yours? What are your top 10 highlights of 2014? 😁

A warmth welcome to 2013

Last year, my siblings and I went to Mall of Asia to celebrate New Year’s eve. A free watch of fireworks near Manila Bay was all worth it. Now that God has answered our prayers for a family car, we have considered to go to Mall of Asia again for the coming of 2013. People are everywhere, car parking was full and fancy restaurants are all loaded, if not loaded it’s close. Nevertheless,  since we have a long wait we found the Chowking open so we bought our dinner even in a long line.

My siblings and I ate inside the car and we had our cute small conversation with each other while eating. Then I asked them “what was your best moment for the year 2012?” My brother said, “When I was given a chance to study.” while my sister in return, “When we were complete family..” Then I hastily said “No copy paste!” then my youngest brother quickly said, “When God answered our prayer to have a car.”  I finally included mine, “When I graduated and passed my NLE board exam… then I had a work..” Then we proceeded on munching our food, suddenly my youngest brother asked us, “What was your worst moment but saw God’s hands at work?” My brother shared his, “My P.E subject was fixed.” Then my sister said, “Its a bit a long story but its kind of a friend-lover rivalry… and I was involve but thank God, it was fix!” Then I remembered mine, “When I was a private duty nurse… you know the story!” My youngest brother can’t remember his but God is always at work. Every time I see their faith, I always reflect on mine too. I often judge them by how they respond on things and how they act on each circumstances but God is so faithful to consider our faith and be so loving every day.

I admit I have a strong foundation because I came from a solid ground and that is through my family. I thank God for giving them to me. 2012 has been great! I will never forget the year where God has almost answered and heard my faith goals! He has been so faithful to me and my family. From none to abundance, and vice versa. Whatever our status we still hold on to our faith. Since 2011 I started this thanksgiving corporate prayer before the clock hits 12:00 mid night every year with my siblings. It feels great to run out of time because of many things to thank for.

After the thanksgiving prayer, the media hosted the event started a 5 minutes warm up  fireworks. So we decided to go and look for a perfect spot to enjoy it. After the 5 minutes fireworks, my siblings and I bought Mint Choco Chip ice cream! My favorite! 🙂

The countdown starts at 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, then I whispered a thankful prayer to God.. 2, 1 – Happy New Year! Welcome 2013!!! We took a picture under the fireworks and wishing mom and dad is also with us… Still praise God! 🙂

Then we immediately went inside the car, people started walking, driving their car, getting their pictures and finds their way home. The road was so free, even the expressway tollgate! Happy! HAHA.

I am more expectant of God than on what He is about to do with my life this year. To Set apart this year for Him only. 

Welcome 2013! thank You Lord for 2012 🙂

May we never fail to see God’s hand in every circumstances we have. May it seem so good and bad, God is always at work. Remember that He always loves us. God bless you all!

Joshua 3:5 “Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things among you.”

Psalm 48:14 “For this God is our God for ever and ever; he will be our guide even to the end.”