I just turned 24 recently last May 19, 2014. Nothing new happened nor anything surprising. Same like ordinary day came by on my birthday. Though there were some few efforts from my loved ones like a sliced cheesecake with candle lit up on my last minute of my birthday which I absolutely appreciate and of course a birthday song. I also received birthday greetings from my friends through texts, personal, and facebooks. I absolutely appreciate my dearest friends who put up an effort just to greet me and letters really close to my heart.
Anyway, another thoughts running through my mind as of this moment which I’m not sure prepared to share it here. But I’ll just share a few close to that details.
I am still waiting. Either I’m waiting productively or unproductively. Am I just wasting my time on something not really coming or am I just passionately taking risk for the sake of “love”? A lot of questions, doubts, hesitations and confusions are going on to my mind. I asked myself if I’m still taking the right path. Is this really what I want? Is this really for me? Am I just going to endure all this without getting in return? Does this deserve all my efforts and time? Is this the time to say goodbye? Many, many interrogative remarks were running through my mind.
I believe the only reason why I choose to persevere because of “love”. But what I’m not sure of if this is still “passion”. Different meaning but something in common= time and effort. We love with effort and time. We passionately do things with TIME and EFFORT. We don’t love without passion, we don’t have passion if we do not love. Physically and emotionally I give time and effort but bodies and minds have its limits. We get tired, exhausted, pressured and burned-out.
I’m tired, exhausted, pressured and burned-out. Yes, physically and emotionally burned-out. Whenever I’m at work, Recently, I’m starting to ask myself “Do I really deserve this? Do I really have to wait more than a year to get promoted? Till when shall I wait?”. More than the career, as the eldest, there were a lot of frustrations and pressures. The desire of helping my parents, supporting my siblings and helping financially to the needs of my parents.
In spite of all those issues and insecurities, I’ve resolved ’em whenever I refocus my goals to JESUS. Spiritually speaking, yes, I’m grounded on my TRUE foundation and I will never be shaken. His love allows me to see this. . . .
Isaiah 40:29-31
“29 He gives strength to those who are tired; to the ones who lack power, he gives renewed energy.
30 Even youths get tired and weary; even strong young men clumsily stumble.
31 But those who wait for the Lord ‘s help find renewed strength; they rise up as if they had eagles’ wings, they run without growing weary, they walk without getting tired.”
Romans 8:28
28 And we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose,
mahirap but I believe everything happens for a reason. I just need to inspire myself and continue to focus my goal to JESUS. I know that in time, I’ll take the risk of getting out from my “comfort-zone”. And I believe it is sooner.
On Bended Knees 