Hanggang sa muli

May “tayo” kahapon, Sa aking pagmulat, “ako” na lang ngayon,  Sa mga araw na nakalipas, Umasang ika’y magbabalik,

Puso hinayaan isara, Nasaktan at binalewala, Akala’y katapusan, Ngunit pagasa ay nariyan,

Maraming katanungan, subalit napagtanto sagot ay hindi daan sa kapayapaan,
Muling binuksan ang pusong namamayapa,Para sa ngalan ng pagibig, Minahal ang sarili,

Hindi inakala na darating ang araw,Sapagkat bawat gabi sigaw ng puso, luha lamang ang katahimikan,
Pusong napagod, muling bumangon, Mula sa pinanggalingan, hindi nalimutan,
Sa pagtanggap, nakapagpatawad. Sa pagpapatawad, alalay ang kapayapaan.

Salamat sa muling pagayon sa aking puso, salamat sa aking pagpulot mula sa kapahamakan, salamat sa pagakay sa mabigat na pinagdaanan…

Hindi Mo ko iniwan, puso Mong tapat ang nagbigay liwanag, sa aking madilim na nakaraan,

masalimuot na nakaraan ay tinapos man, sa aking pagbangon, bagong kwento ang inaasam.

Kung kahapon ay ibabalik, buong pagkatao mo’y aking buong pusong tatanggapin,
kung hindi man pinalad, masaya kong tatahakin ang tadhanang inilaan, Hanggang sa muli

#sunset #poet #art #mountain #hike #sillouette #masasabeach #gulugodbaboy #poem #love #vscocam #photo #picture #tagalog #literary #feature #beach #philippines

Living in K-drama world

I’ve watched all kinds of korean dramas may it be suspense, historical, action or rom-com. Whenever I start watching it  I always get hooked to it. I’ve always loved their killer smiles and love team chemistries. I was able to finish three “major-major” top korean dramas recently. For your information, I have always been a Lee Min Ho fan and I have watched most of his dramas (though not yet the City Hunter- I don’t know why). Anyway, since I’ve finished the top 3 dramas for the first quarter of the year. Somehow I dreamed to be one of their leading lady. 

So here it goes,

Every lady wishes to have a guy friend whom you can smirk with, punched on, get mad, and a shoulder to lean on.   Kim Bok Joo’s friend – Joon Hyung – is a friend you can trust and do without worrying your poise and all that. She was a jealous gf when Joon Hyung who is very close to him. Funny it was when they tried to be discreet yet they can’t. Until their friends finally found out. This is a very light teenage story. 

I ‘hoped’ I can be like Kim Bok Joo who lifts a heavy barbel and still maintains a weight limit. Haha

We also go tough situations and even that happens, we also fight for things we know that is rightfully ours even it takes us miles away from home. Our Sim Cheong swam around far places to look for Joon Hae after she erasing the memories they had in Europe. It really broke my heart for what Cheong had to do in order to protect Joon Hae but love wins. Even she had to erase AGAIN his memories due to long stay on earth, Joon Hae were able to write all his spent time with Cheong in a journal. He had to suffer while waiting, looking for answers of all his missing memories but all the while he had them on his journal. Her gift of removing memories took advantage to their enemies but she didn’t succeed on Joon Hae’s. What a relief! 

I ‘hoped’ for Cheong’s gift of removing memories so I could forget some past hurts too. Thank God I don’t have because through my past aches I learned to become a strong woman. But I also wished that I could earn money through tears so it could turn into pearl and sell it. HAHA

The latest drama I’ve watched is Goblin and I finished crying!!!! This story has a lot of twist, there’s friendship, family, a love to conquer, and past-present turns. I’m not sure if all the “reincarnation” is true but it really affected me when Goblin had to suffer all the “waiting” for his Goblin’s bride ONLY to remove the sword of eternity. What a heartbreaking news it was for Eun Tak when she already developed feelings for this handsome Goblin. Nevertheless, as fate is to be unfold, what is already written by God cannot be change. Even after withdrawing the sword from Kim Dhin’s chest. it took Eun Tak years to recover from her unknown cause of her pain. When her memories were erased she looked for answers trying to figure out who was the “him” on her journal. Until, fate moved and Kim Shin appeared again by Eun Tak’s blowed candle. I shed tears when Eun Tak was having distress from her sleep and she called on to Kim Shin. “I am scared that you might leave me again” – Eun Tak. I felt her right there and then. The fear of losing someone you love but missing soul has its own destiny. But Kim Shin didn’t stop pursuing her. When Eun Tak’s time came, it really broke my heart! Most espescially to Kim Shin. He had to wait again for the reincarnation of Eun Tak and grateful that the ending didn’t disappoint me. 

I ‘hope’ I can be like Eun Tak who was so sure of his destined man that she doesn’t have to wait for some other men . I hope that I could only blow a match and my superman would appear right in front of me. I hope. But there’s this real world I’m facing right now which makes me feel more challenged. Waiting is not an easy task but I know everything will be worth the wait just like Kim Shin, Cheong, Joon Hae, Joon Hyung, and Bok Joo did. Because what is yours is already yours.

Love has its own reasons. Love is a decision. Love conquers everthing.

Kamsahamnida, Oppa’s and Unni’s for a yeopo stories. Looking forward to many kdramas. 

I in the mirror

Hesitantly, I look at myself in the mirror. I look at that person and deep inside she’s broken and still in a healing process. I look at her with shamefully disgusted personality. I see this lady full of mysteries and secrets. However, she believes that no secrets cannot be revealed. She has support system, few but real, who will remind her identity and encourage her that we live because there is a purpose.

Indeed there is a purpose. Whenever I look back to the past, I always find myself to the lost woods or stare the endless ceiling. I somehow realize that PAST has contributed a lot of who I am today and there comes a time when I just cannot let go of it. But, yes a big BUT… We have to move on… I love new things and I am excited to explore and discover to conquer and learn about something in this new season.

Going back, how I see myself today? I am really disgusted. A lot of times when we fight for what is right or stand firm with convictions which ends up to failure. I just discovered my weakness recently hence the readon why I still fall on the same trap all over again. And it just makes me sad that whenever I am “almost” in that situation, there’s this urge of “test/challenge” but naaaaah… I say, know your weakness and never attempt to check if you have overcome it. Run away immediately from temptation. Do you get what I mean? 

We are human with limited strength and capacity. Since we are human let us not abuse that limited strength to conquer our fears or “test”. No matter what that can be, never ever stay in a place where we can be vulnerable to make mistakes.

Honestly, I do not know how to redeem myself back but God’s grace is sufficient for my weaknesses. Sometimes my thoughts tell me: “you do not deserve His grace” “you are unworthy” “you kept on saying sorry but you keep doing same old sins” and sometimes “you are not beautiful!” There’s a truth to those thoughts and that make God more visible in my life. 

I look at myself and I see a woman who doesn’t deserve all the love and precious breath in this world but someOne gave it anyway. I cannot see the fast healing but I am willing for a change and enter new season in life.

Even when it hurts

We get to a road of life where there are stumbling blocks and hindrances. Sometimes we overanalyze the situation presented to us. Sometimes we robotically accept and deny certain things which makes us feel either good or bad.

I’ve gone through tough times. Who doesn’t? Life can be unfair and overwhelmingly good. But at the top of it, we do not control certatin circumstances. We are after the outcome of our decisions and choices but maybe – sometimes the sun and moon doesn’t agree with our final says.

I am currently hurting and trying to look at things in a positive way. Just like fresh from breakup is what I’m feeling today. It has been a year since I broke up with my former boyfriend but I guess there are some issues still need to deal with.

Two weeks ago, as I grew tired of patiently waiting to reconcile the so called friendship, I decided to STOP and LET GOD. Yesterday was worst. I saw this coming even when it hurts I have to live my life as normal as I can. It has never been easy. I learned that between the two lovers, whoever had come up with the decision of “break up” it will always be a different pace on the other party involve.

I was already in the stage of moving on till yesterday happened. I guess people will always find it difficult to see since I have imprinted of who I am to them. But no matter what, I have finally making the decision of letting go, for his happiness sake and to let him know that I respect him. I hope one day, he’ll see that too.

Even when it hurts, I will still continue this life because I know there is a purpose. Even when it hurts I tried my best to pray and claim God’s promises and my identity to Him. Even when it hurts I will continue to seek God’s will over my life and not on the peoples opinions.

Despite of what is happening today, I know that God will redeem us in better situation. I know that He is still in control.

I declare peace, love, joy and forgiveness be upon the people involve in my situation. In Jesus’ name, Amen

Sorry not sorry

I couldn’t find any reason to stay longer on this bridge of false hopes because you have shown the reason of my role in your life. I am invisible and a BURDEN to you. That is my role. As much as possible, I will not apologize for any “unintentional” and “unexpected” scenarios that happened. But here I am again, for the nth time swallowing my pride for unknown reason. “I AM SO SORRY”. I do not have to explain but I am sincerely sorry if I have caused you a lot of pain. I am sorry if I am one of the reasons of your sufferings and burdens today. I am sorry if you can’t move because I am around. I AM SORRY. This may sound sarcastic pero oo! Masama loob ko! Pero aangkinin ko nalang ang LAHAT ng dahilan… Hindi ko ipagpipilitan ang SARILI ko sayo kung AYAW mo naman. I knew there was something wrong with all your unavoidable distance and unexplainable silence. I knew that you were keeping a secret. And since then, I grew tired. So I have decided to let you go. (Yan naman gusto mo dba?) I am letting you go and finally making a decision to avoid any contacts and communication from people close to us. I respect you and I will never bother you again. 

For your happiness sake, I WILL DO THIS FOR YOU!

P. S you could have talk to me instead of keeping it by yourself, you know?

An open letter to the Man who has my attention

Dear _______,

Hi!! I know you didn’t expect this but I want to let you know what is really going on my head. We’ve been really closefriend since we met. I even laughed at how I could possibly see you as one of my friends on my list.

Recently, it has been our routine to spend time talking, Facebook chatting, eat at the most cheapest restaurants near our place. I have realized that you might have my attention but it doesn’t guarantee “our” future together.

I want to let you know that I appreciate all the efforts, most specially the QT’s. The effort in getting to know me even on my drastic face expressions, loud voice, annoying attitudes, and bad hair days.

I am grateful that I could be with someone to be just me, make my day full of laughter, jive with all the kalokohan and drive me crazy guessing all the gestures of if’s and but’s. 

But something holds me back from trusting you completely. Our past has been part of our journey but I won’t like it to be a replacement of our story. It would be better a complete recovery from it then we could have our own back to zero. Again, you have to earn my trust, work for it and then let’s see. 

Yeah, you have my attention but that doesn’t guarantee our future of being together. Just to let you know.

Beauty dictator

Nowadays, beauty and fame are defined by superficial admiration by the world. Sometimes you have to strive and work hard for it. Or technology makes it easier, interesting and visually favorable photos and videos that can come up to thousand viewers can make you a star. Easy or difficult either way, superficial beauty has become a norm to many without even appreciating the true beauty within. I have a question, when was the last time (without any force or pressure) you said to yourself “beautiful”? When was the last time you face the mirror without disgusted with what you see? When was the last time wearing the most comfortable clothes without the pressure from the fashion magazine? When was the last time you comb your hair feeling satisfied? WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU APPRECIATE BEAUTY?

I was one of the products of the world’s slave by defining beauty as superficial. I strived for beauty to get attention and recognize. I allowed my body to suffer in order to meet the world’s standard of beauty. I craved for others body to be seen by people. I didn’t appreciate what I have, I felt not accepted if I’m not like the women on the magazine. I thought if I could only eat one meal a day, I could achieve their body. Unfortunately, I didn’t achieved that goal, I tried to starve myself until I lose my taste buds on my favorite foods- that meant DYING!!! I TRIED but I got TIRED.

Unfortunately, I didn’t achieved that goal, I tried to starve myself until I lost my taste buds on my favorite foods- that meant DYING!!! I TRIED but I got TIRED.

You know why I got tired? Because it was still the same, people didn’t recognize me even to the point of triumph. I got TIRED because I realized why am I even trying and striving, eh hindi naman ako sila, that’s not who I am. Yes, I wished to have their body but technically we do not have same body features, we do not have the same face! And why do I have to cover my natural beauty with all these makeup and put lipstick on my pale lips. Now, don’t get me wrong, I do not wish to be against to the women wearing makeup, their beautiful but to solve your problem by covering it with those makeup is not the solution, Darling. So I woke up in reality and I was surrounded with LOVE. Someone told me “You are already beautiful, you don’t have to strive or earn it. You are an apple of my eye.” And I knew from that moment, I was loved by someone without earning or striving hard. I was seen and loved even when I was invisible. I was also surrounded with people who accepted me for who I am.
I loved myself more than ever. A very powerful book said, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” But Iba naman yung sobrang pagmamahal sa sarili, yung napaka selfish mo, “AKO LANG ANG DAPAT MAGANDA DITO!” “I should reign in this class, not her!” that’s being narcissistic. You have to see that you are beautiful! And I say this with love, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! Accept your flaws and pimples. Ang pimple mawawala din yan, parang season, not permanent, it varies. Being thin or skinny is in today, but others said curves makes it more exciting. “Show some skin, they’ll notice you!” Oh, Darling! They won’t! They won’t even look straight through your eyes, they would only look to your half naked body. RESPECT YOURSELF. World reduces the beauty of womanhood today, everything they see are just product of their creations. We become creations of the world when we allow them to enter into our system.

World reduces the beauty of woman today, everything that they see are just product of their creations. We become creations of the world when we allow them to enter into our system.

How do you learn to love yourself? I’m not going to give you some tips because you know yourself, we all have our own coping mechanism. But I guess these questions will help us know somehow the beauty within and it is my prayer that when you ponder to these questions you’d put your identity to the Creator.
1. Who are your support systems? get in touch with them.

2. Do you accept your bad breath in the morning? Or do you have to brush your teeth first before looking at the mirror? in short, are you aware of your flaws? and would these hinder us accept the beauty within us?

3. Do you believe that you are beautiful? And if not, try to look within yourself, what is the problem? Why can’t you accept that you are beautiful?

4. How many times do you watch American Next Top Model fantasizing to be one of them? Or how many times would you read a fashion magazine and be ecstatic to buy those clothes even without budget?

5. How many times do you have to change your clothes before you go out from your house?

6. Does makeup make you feel beautiful, better, comfrotable?
These are just few basic questions we need to ponder. It’s not in order but I hope it helps you see the reality- that you are indeed BEAUTIFUL. There are a lot of things that can be a hindrance to see your beauty but I won’t let it force you to see that instantly because I understand that there are issues and reasons why don’t believe or have STOPPED believing. But I pray that you won’t allow the world dictate your own womanhood, it should come within, know who you are and watch out with the things that you embrace.

Thank You for the LOVE

As the year ends, I did some time alone to recall the whole year. I admit that this year has been a challenge for me. Ang daming pagbabago sa sarili ko, I had to change my perspective in life, including principles and beliefs. Kinilala
ko rin sarili ko. My lifestyle changed as well but I can attest God’s faithfulness in my life. From tears to tears, moon and back, front to cover, God showed me His power over my life. Not my plan, but His will to be done.
People come and go as they say. People enter in your life and then suddenly leave with invalid reasons or unexplainable circumstances. Sometimes they leave because that’s the only best choice to express their love for you. I had the most unforgettable events this year, I learned and discovered that I am a “land person” when I started mountain climbing. I finally learned that my top 2 love language are words of affirmation and time. Ang dami ko pang kailangan idiscover sa sarili ko,I just have to continue to get out from my comfort zone.

During the leaders group Christmas party, we had this activity of back tracking the year’s highlights. I got the chance to scan and review my posts from Facebook and Instagram even the tweets from Twitter. I found myself in awe and tears how God has been really gracious to me. I couldn’t be here without God’s unconditional love, I don’t wanna sound Holy or religious but this is just the truth. God has been really faithful in my life.

I thought I couldn’t get up but He made me realized that He won’t put me in a situation if I cannot handle it. Kaya nasabi ko rin, “Siguro, nakita rin ni God na strong ako. Kaya He allowed these to happen.” For the first three months I kept on thinking “What did I do to deserve this?” “Why did this even happen to me? Of all people, why me?” I know I do not have the right to ask God my “Why’s” because who am I to ask the King of kings and the Lord of lords. It’s a shame for me to ask, but I just came to Him with open arms and humility in my heart. God hasn’t really answered it exactly, (and I stopped asking)He doesn’t have to but right now, I see the BIGGER picture. It is about the obedience, leaning on to Him even it means of letting go of the things or people in life. At the end of the day it will always and should be ABOUT HIM.

Through obedience I saw God graciously move in our midst. He restores what was lost. He gives us hope and makes us realize that above all things He is in control. I am now in tears as I type this, maybe not with what I hoped but the God I serve is the God of restoration. People may see me broken or “bitter”, they may even tag my past a joke but what makes me stand firm is that God will always be behind my story because He is the author of my life. I won’t mind what they will say or even how they insult me. Fixing my eyes on Jesus. 😁

Many times when I get back from step one, “denial” then end my day with “acceptance” which only depicts that life can be so much fun and complicated at the same time. It also shows that we are limited, mapapagod ka rin. Iba si God magsulat, talagang unpredictable and exciting. Either you’ll cry or laugh. How do I describe 2015? RAIN. Isa pa na nadiscover ko sa sarili ko, I am now a pluviophile. Rain, not only it gives you a bed weather or a gloomy feeling but there is something about the rain that makes you feel happy and in love. I don’t know but that will best describe my 2015. I am expectant to what is ahead of me, lalo na sa 2016. Well I am always expectant to New Year’s naman. I remember 2015 countdown, sabi ko kay God, “ Excited ako Lord.” Of course, sa buhay hindi mawawala ang drama but as much as possible iniiwasan ko yan, sayang lang ang luha, kung alam ko naman matatapos din ang drama. Unfortunately, things don’t come the way we plan it but definitely there is always a solution with every challenges.

God picked me up again and embraced me for the nth time. I never felt secured, alive and more assured in His presence. He showed me that in every situation that I am out of control, He is in control. That I am limited and He is limitless. He wants me decrease and Him increase in my life. He wants ME and Yes, I am His.

I am ending my 2015 with a joy in my heart. I am welcoming 2016 with open arms and welcoming 2015 to my 2016. Yes, not a goodbye but hello again! Thank you for being part of my 2015 and looking forward you on my 2016.

Ps. Thank you for a fun-filled 2015

(Sorry na, sorry na sa wrong grammars ko. Haha)

Mt. Batulao

  
It was February when my guy friends from church invited me to join them to hike Mt. Maculot. It was my first time and it was surreal! I really had so much fun plus friends who won’t give up on you. Anyway, that was my first and halos sinumpa ko yun dahil sa dami kong “slide” moments. But it didn’t stop me, my next trek was in Mt. Daraitan but our goal was Tinipak River. Such a beautiful sight! Then supposedly will go to Mt. Gulugod Baboy, but I decided to spend time with my workmates instead in Camayan Beach. Oh well, I have missed a lot that day indeed! Tsk!
Anyway, this hike is memorable! Kahit nalilito parin ako sa mga terms na HIKE, TREK, And RAPEL. Basta alam ko nilalakbay ko bundok. A friend of mine once asked herself “Why am I doing this? What am I trying to prove here? What is my purpose?”. Napaisip ako bakit nga ba? Then came Batulao. 

Before we climb Batulao, the past few days, the weather was very discouraging. But still majority of us are decided to go. My friends are good to go and as usual late parin kaming umalis AT dahil sa chicken sandwich with celery ng kaibigan namin! HAHA

So nagumpisa yung trek namin around 9am ata yun? Sobrang memorable kasi ang dami kong nawitness na character ng mga kaibigan ko. At lalong lalo na yung faithfulness ni God!!! Sobraaaa! This one is so genuine, sobrang totoo, all out ako dito. Ibang klase to! ❤️

Habang naglalakad ako paakyat, nakailang tawag ako kay God!!!! Sobrang dami, “God! I’m so tired!!!! Naghhyperventilate na ako. Naghhyperventilate na sila.” Pero sabi nga ni Dory ng Finding Nemo “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming…” Ako naman, “Just keep walking, just keep walking.” Mind over matter nga daw kahit sobrang pawisan ka na plus natulo pa sipon mo… HAHA

  
Mt. Batulao is very dangerous nga talaga konting kalokohan mo lang pwede ka na gumulong gulong pababa. Kung gusto mo ng shortcut, isang dulas mo lang sa baba ka na, ewan ko lang kung buhay ka pa pagbaba mo. Sobrang narrowed way lang siya talaga. And NO TREES! I finally saw the LONELY TREE, lonely nga pero lagi naman nadadaanan, kaya siguro standing strong siya kasi dinadalaw naman ng marami. Wasn’t able to take a photo with it because there were bystanders. 

   
I’m not sure if ako lang talaga yun, pero mas napagod ako dito compared to Mt. Maculot! It was a long trek and hike plus rapelling! My favorite part is the rapelling and rock climbing- 90 degrees!!! Pero grabe talaga yung pagod siguro nga sabi ng friend ko, “Kasi nakikita natin ung goal kaya siguro mas napapagod tayo, hindi tulad sa Mt. Maculot kahit ilang beses sabihin na dalawang oras, go parin tayo.” Ahh I got his point. Pero hindi talaga! Sobrang nakakapagod eh.

  
So here’s the unforgettable talaga. Majority of us are women and I am speechless by their unwavering faith. That’s why we pushed the plan. And we are really favored because it was a very very fine weather! ❤️

Things I’ve discovered and learned:

1. “Lord. Lord. Lord.” – we were calling God along the way. It still amazes me that even we’re tired, si Lord parin ang tinatawag namin. 

“I call upon you, for you will answer me, O God; incline your ear to me; hear my words. Wondrously show your steadfast love, O Savior of those who seek refuge from their adversaries at your right hand. Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings, ” Psalm 17:6-8

2. “Malapit na tayo guys!!!” – we have to reach camp 10! But we were still at Camp 1, non stop ang pagmmotivate samin ng mga boys! 

“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. – “1 Thessalonians 5:11

3. Courage heart– we all need courage! To pursue life, to finish the race!

” Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9

4. Overcome your fears – we all have fears, (fear of heights, fear of social, mountain and whatever that it) someday we will all face them but instead of dwelling on them turn ’em to faith. 

5. Have FAITH– God reminded me  to have faith and be in faith. Faith. Faith. “Trust Me and just hold My hand.” Very encouraging. All of us have struggles and God has solutions to them. 

“Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses. -” 1 Timothy 6:12

6. Glorify the Creator of all things– there were plenty of complains, stumbled moments, walked alone, but I did not see my friends give up, meron “almost” but they continued. And instead of complaining they looked at the beautiful creations instead. Kahit pagod na, they would still call upon God. Kahit wala ka ng katabi sa pagakyat ng bundok, natuto kaming maging independent and dependent kay God lang. Even in the wildest form, we will only learn to appreciate the small things if we have tasted the goodness and faithfulness of our Creator knowing that even in front of the stumbling block we know that we will never be alone. Just like this wild orchid.

  
I am super uber blessed to be with these great people. Character building indeed and its part of building stronger friendship. At the end of the day, we were all smiling dahil kumpleto kaming umakyat at kumpleto din kaming nakababa. Laughter is indeed one of the best medicine. I am excited Lord! Thank you.

   

Looking forward with the whole gang!!! 

My hiding place

 

 I remember when I was only in elementary, one of my favorite game was hide and seek. I used every effort and energy to hide myself from the seeker because we were only given 10 to 20 seconds (depending on set of counts) to hide and if you were caught first, you’ll be the next one to find them. Well, that’s how the hide and seek mechanics goes. I enjoyed hiding but sometimes when the seeker takes time looking out for you, sometimes it gets boring or frustrating (depende kung saan ka nagtatago, baka sa Cabinet, eh di pinagpawisan ka na sa kakaantay sakanya mahanap ka lang niya.) But we have to choose our hiding place.

Psalm 119:114 “You are my hiding place and my shield; I hope in Your word.”

I just want to share this verse where in the midst of catastrophe of my life, I found my hiding place. It is so amazing that through that storm, it helped me see how I should go back from the start. Where I get my real strength. I didn’t know that I was already on the edge of falling from the cliff. All this time I thought I was still on that same road walking with the same feet. Little did I know I was already letting go. Little did I know I was hurting the One who loved me first. Little did I know, I was creating walls between us. Little did I know, I was trying to listen but I was blinded by earthly things that temporarily satisfied me and ignores the voice. Then came the storm, I thought I was on the same ground but again little did I know I was already tossed by strong wind and heavy waves of the ocean. Until I saw someone calmly walking in the water, while I was hit and tossed by the strong waves of the ocean, I saw Him walking towards me, reaching out His hand. Without second thoughts, I reached out my hand and He carried me all the way and calmed the storm.

As He was carrying me, I hid into His chest and embraced Him so tight that I don’t want to let go. I just want to be in His arms. I found my Shield. I found my hiding place. Jesus is my Shield and my Hiding place. He didn’t leave me behind, He didn’t let go of me, He was there all throughout my stormy journey. I was deafened and blinded by temporary things here on earth. I was hiding from Him, it took time when I was already enjoying hiding from His plans but thankful that He finally found me. He didn’t stop looking after me, even I came to the point of giving up. Giving up in faith. Giving up in hope. Giving up in trusting people. I got tired. Exhausted. But you know what storm taught me? There’s always rainbow after the rain. That’s a covenant from God. That’s a promise coming from a Sovereign God.

It was really dark. Darkness with anger, hatred, bitterness and even unforgiveness. Blinded by what the world can give and deafened by human promises. Until I cannot hear God’s whisper. As I type these words, I am in tears of joy that God picked me up from pieces. He made me whole again. He gave me peace. Peace that I cannot get from any person or a thing. Peace that secures my future. Peace that gives me hope. Peace that brings joy to my heart. Peace that gives assurance that I can do better this time. Peace that I will never walk this journey alone. Indeed, Jesus is the prince of peace.

John 14: 27 “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”

I am really thankful for what really happened because it helped me go back to my source of Strength and Joy. God uses situations that we thought we cannot handle, but God believes that through that circumstance He will prove Himself that He is Lord. And yes, He is. I can always hide from Him, take things for granted or get used to what I have, but one thing I’m sure of that what was already built will never be shaken because I believe that I have a strong foundation and that is my faith in Christ. He will always be my hiding place and my shield. I put my hope in Him.